UC-NRLF 


^B    57M    m? 


wsilm 


mmmB 


,4> 


LIBRARY 

OF  THK 

University  of  California. 

GIFT  OF" 

^  Class  'fg+e 


M 


si 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Arcinive 

in  2007  with  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


http://www.archive.org/details/drivenfromhometrOOgedarich 


J^a^n^lle      ^e^ci/c't*<S-. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME 


A  True  Story  of  a  Converted 
Jewess 


BY 

JEANETTE   GEDALIUS 


SAN  FRANCISCO 

DBMPST^R  BROTHERS.  PRINTERS  AND  PUBUSHERS 

Cor.  Bond  and  Glen  Park  Ave, 


Copyrighted,  1905. 

By  J^ANETTE  GEDAIJUS. 

All  rights  reserved. 


JEANETTE   GEDAI^IUS, 
939  Howard  St.,  San  Francisco,  California.  U.  S.  A. 


Dedicated  to  my  Beloved  Friends, 

MtBst  Max^  ^uxhtiitf 

For  her  personal  interest ; 


For  her  love  and  interest  in  the  "  Lost  Sheep 
of  the  House  of  Israel." 


PREFACE 


This  little  story  of  my  life  has  not  been  written  to  arouse  sym- 
pathy for  myself,  but  as  a  testimony  to  the  mighty  saving  and 
keeping  power  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  to  the  Jew  first  and  also 
to  the  Gentile. 

Some  there  may  be  of  my  own  people  who  have  heard  the 
voice  of  Him  that  was  lifted  up  on  Calvary  to  draw  all  men  unto 
Him,  yet  fearing  trials  and  persecution  have  not  trusted  Him. 
Should  any  fear  the  hardness  of  the  way,  let  me  assure  you  that 
God  is  faithful  and  His  grace  is  suflScient  for  all  things. 

God  grant  that  a  deeper  sympathy  and  interest  may  be  kindled 
in  the  hearts  of  those  who  love  Jesus  for  poor  blinded  Israel,  and 
that  prayers  may  ever  ascend  to  the  throne  of  grace  in  their 
behalf. 

Let  us  pray  that  the  Keeper  of  Israel,  who  neither  slumbers 
nor  sleeps,  will  graciously  hear  the  united  prayers  of  His  children 
and  take  away  the  vail  of  Moses  from  before  their  eyes. 


CONTENTS 

Page 

Childhood— Chapter  1 7 

My  Brother  and  Mrs.  Deike — Chapter  II 21 

Conversion — Chapter  III 34 

Baptism— Chapter  IV 57 

Persecuted — Chapter  V 63 

Enduring  Hardness — Chapter  VI 85 

A  Prisoner  at  Home — Chapter  VII 98 

Driven  from  Home — Chapter  VIII 109 

My  Reception  at  Berlin — Chapter  IX 115 

A  Stranger  in  a  Strange  Land — Chapter  X 123 


CHAPTER    I. 

In  the  little  town  of  Deutsh  Eylau,  Northern 
Germany,  I  was  born.  My  parents,  who  were 
strictly  orthodox  Jews,  lived  in  a  cottage  close  by 
the  Geserick  Sea.  Many  times  in  early  childhood 
I  played  upon  its  banks  and  looked  out  upon  its 
quiet  blue  waters,  and  visions  came  to  me  of  the 
outside  world.  In  these  day  dreams  how  my  heart 
bounded  at  thoughts  of  the  great  success  which 
should  crown  my  future  life,  and  how  vivid  still  are 
the  pictures  which  hang  on  memory's  walls ! 

I  can  see  the  quaint,  narrow  streets  along  which 
the  women  walk  carrying  water  in  pails  suspended 
from  wooden  yokes  resting  on  their  shoulders.  I 
hear  the  clanking  of  their  wooden  slippers  on  the 
pavements  as  they  bear  their  heavy  burdens  from 
door  to  door. 

As  the  last  woman  vanishes  from  memory's  vis- 
ion, my  thoughts  turn  to  the  superstition  with 
which  the  life  of  the  town  abounded.  I  see  troubled 
faces,  and  hear  the  deep  sighs  of  men  and  women 
bemoaning  the  fate  of  children  born  on  Friday. 
Then  I  hear  tales  of  horrible  witches  who  hold  the 
life  and  death  of  people  in  the  hollow  of  their  hands. 

I  remember  the  story  of  my  own  unlucky  birth, 
for  I  was  born  on  Friday.     Before  I  had  reached 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


the  age  of  twelve  months,  my  parents  were  im- 
pressed with  a  deep  realization  of  the  unhappy 
fate  sure  to  be  mine.  In  a  severe  fall  I  bit  through 
my  tongue  so  that  the  tip  of  the  tongue  was  al- 
most severed.  The  doctor  who  was  summoned  at 
once  advised  that  the  point  of  the  tongue  should 
be  removed  in  order  to  save  my  life,  as  there  was 
danger  of  my  bleeding  to  death,  since  it  was  im- 
possible to  take  stitches.  It  seemed  that  if  my 
life  was  spared  I  must  always  be  dumb. 

I  can  imagine  the  distress  and  sorrow  of  my 
poor  mother;  how  she  must  have  taken  me  within 
her  loving  arms  and  pressed  me  to  her  aching 
heart,  refusing  the  advice  of  the  doctor  and  trust- 
ing in  God  and  nature.  Her  faith  was  rewarded; 
for,  contrary  to  the  doctor's  expectation,  the 
wound  healed,  leaving  but  a  small  scar  on  the 
upper  part  of  the  tongue. 

More  misfortune  seemed  to  follow  me.  I  be- 
came the  victim  of  a  reputed  witch,  of  which  there 
were  several  in  our  neighborhood.  Many  and 
strange  were  the  stories  circulated  about  them.  It 
was  asserted  that  on  June  24th  at  midnight  the 
witches  anointed  themselves  with  a  special  oint- 
ment and  rode  upon  broomsticks  to  the  top  of  St. 
John's  Mountain,  a  peak  a  short  distance  from 
the  city.     When  all  were  assembled,  Satan  him- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  9 

self  joined  them  and  gave  instructions  in  witch- 
craft. At  those  meetings  plans  were  made  as  to 
who  should  be  their  victims  during  the  coming 
year. 

A  feast  would  follow  at  which  the  most  loath- 
some food  would  be  eaten  with  seemingly  as  much 
pleasure  as  though  it  consisted  of  every  delicacy. 
All  this  ended  with  a  dance  in  which  the  brooms 
were  transformed  into  men.  People  so  fully  be- 
lieved in  witchcraft  that  they  were  in  constant 
dread  of  witches,  and  feared  to  go  near  the  house 
of  anyone  having  that  reputation. 

For  some  years  we  lived  among  Polish-speaking 
people  and  learned  the  Polish  language.  We 
played  happily  with  their  children,  and,  although 
we  heard  witch  stories,  no  witches  ever  molested 
us. 

When  I  was  about  five  years  of  age,  however, 
my  parents  moved  into  a  different  locality. 
Across  the  street  from  our  new  home  lived  a  re- 
puted witch.  Every  one  avoided  this  woman.  I 
often  noticed  that  when  people  met  her  they  would 
make  the  sign  of  the  cross  as  soon  as  they  had 
passed  by.  Although  I  did  not  know  what  the 
sign  of  the  cross  meant,  I  learned  in  later  years 
that  they  hoped  by  crossing  themselves  to  prevent 
the  witch  from  doing  them  any  harm. 


10  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

My  parents,  though  Jews,  fully  believed  in 
witchcraft  and  were  very  superstitious.  As  we 
played  around,  many  of  the  neighbors  would  call 
us  into  their  homes,  giving  us  small  toys  and  occa- 
sionally candy  and  nuts,  and  thus  persuading  us 
to  speak  to  them  in  the  Polish  language. 

One  day,  when  my  sister  and  I  were  playing  out 
of  doors,  a  little  girl  whom  we  had  not  seen  before 
drew  near  and  asked  if  she  might  join  us  in  our 
sport.  As  she  was  of  about  the  same  age  as  our- 
selves and  was  nicely  dressed,  we  welcomed  her 
as  a  playmate.  She  frequently  came  to  us  and 
we  became  much  attached  to  her  and  invited  her 
to  share  our  indoor  games  on  disagreeable  days. 
One  day  she  in  turn,  invited  us  to  her  home,  to 
which  we  readily  consented.  Not  until  we  had 
reached  the  doorstep  did  we  realize  that  our  little 
friend  lived  in  the  witch's  home. 

At  once  we  demanded  who  she  was.  She  replied 
that  the  witch  was  her  aunt  and  that  she  made 
her  home  with  her.  It  was  too  late  for  retreat,  for 
the  little  girl  had  the  door  opened  for  us  and  we 
felt  impelled  to  go  in.  Her  aunt  was  pleased  to 
see  us,  and  offered  us  bread  and  butter  with  a 
liberal  sprinkling  of  sugar  over  it.  Although  fond 
of  such  food,  we  promptly  refused  it,  for  we  had 
been  instructed  never  to  take  food  from  Gentiles. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  11 

Time  passed  on;  fall  approached  and  the  days 
grew  colder.  As  we  were  playing  in  the  street  one 
day  a  chilly,  drizzling  rain  began  to  fall.  Our 
little  playmate  saw  us  and  called  to  us  that  they 
had  a  bright  fire  in  the  open  grate  and  wished  us 
to  come  in  and  share  its  warmth  and  comfort. 
This  appealed  to  us,  and,  without  obtaining  our 
mother's  consent,  we  entered  Annie's  home.  We 
had  no  open  grate  in  our  home,  and  it  was  fasci- 
nating to  us  to  see  the  fire  and  hear  the  crackling 
of  the  wood. 

Presently  Annie's  aunt  came  in  with  some  pota- 
toes in  her  apron,  which  she  buried  in  the  hot  ashes 
to  roast.  When  they  were  done  she  took  them  out 
and  offered  them  to  us.  They  looked  so  tempting 
that  we  were  unable  to  resist.  We  reasoned  to 
ourselves  that,  since  they  were  not  cooked  in  a 
vessel,  there  could  be  no  harm  in  our  eating  them. 

Hardly  had  we  tasted  them,  when  the  door 
opened  and  our  mother  appeared.  She  saw  the 
potatoes  in  our  hands.  For  a  moment  she  ap- 
peared horror-stricken.  Soon,  however,  she  recov- 
ered, and  snatching  the  potatoes  from  us  she  took 
us  home,  there  to  receive  the  punishment  our  dis- 
obedience merited. 

More  serious  consequences,  however,  were  to 
follow.    During  the  night  we  were  taken  sick  and 


12  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

before  morning  our  poor  little  bodies  were  burn- 
ing with  fever.  Mother  was  greatly  alarmed  and 
naturally  her  first  thought  was  that  we  were 
bewitched.  Hence,  instead  of  consulting  a  physi- 
cian she  went  to  another  reputed  witch  to  ask  her 
advice.  She  gave  mother  some  instructions  with 
regard  to  treating  the  disease,  and  warding  off 
further  calamity;  mother  returned,  confirmed  in 
her  belief  that  we  were  under  the  power  of  the 
other  witch  in  consequence  of  having  eaten  the 
roasted  potatoes  in  her  house,  and  though  she  fol- 
lowed the  instructions  of  the  second  woman  ex- 
actly, there  was  no  improvement  in  our  condition. 

When  father,  who  had  been  away  from  home, 
returned  in  answer  to  an  urgent  summons,  he  at 
once  called  a  physician  who  pronounced  the  sick- 
ness a  severe  cold.  His  remedies  were  faithfully 
given,  but  we  rapidly  grew  worse. 

In  great  anxiety  my  parents  again  called  upon 
the  witch.  She  repeated  her  assertions  that  we 
were  the  victims  of  witchcraft,  and  declared  that 
the  only  remedy  was  to  outwit  the  other  witch. 
This,  she  confessed,  she  was  unable  to  do,  for  slie 
had  not  sufficient  knowledge  to  treat  the  disease 
successfully. 

She  recommended  a  woman  living  at  a  distance 
of  eight  miles  from  our  home.     This  woman  had 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  13 

the  reputation  of  being  a  great  witch,  who  pos- 
sessed the  power  of  healing  diseases  caused  by 
witchcraft,  but  she  would  seldom  confer  with 
women,  so  father  went  to  see  what  she  could  do 
for  us.  He  was  told  that  he  must  under  no  condi- 
tion speak  to  any  woman  he  might  chance  to  meet. 
He  carried  with  him  a  present  for  the  witch  and 
a  bundle  of  clothing  which  we  wore  at  the  time 
we  were  bewitched.  Upon  his  return  the  instruc- 
tions of  this  woman  were  faithfully  carried  out. 

I  do  not  know  what  this  w^onderful  woman  said 
to  him,  for  in  everything  great  secrecy  was  ob- 
served. She  had  given  my  father  nine  different 
herbs  from  which  a  bath  was  to  be  prepared  in 
which  we  were  to  be  bathed  twice  a  day,  morning 
and  evening.  She  had  assured  father  that  there 
was  no  danger  and  that  she  was  fully  able  to  break 
the  spell  of  the  other  witch  and  check  the  power  of 
the  disease. 

Immediately  upon  father's  return  the  bath  was 
prepared,  but  dire  results  followed.  We  did  not 
recover  as  the  witch  had  promised,  and  during  the 
second  bath  my  little  sister  expired  in  mother's 
arms.  Great  Avas  the  grief  of  all  for  our  loved  one. 
For  ^  whole  week  my  parents  sat  in  ashes  and  ate 
the  bread  of  affliction,  according  to  the  law. 

My  life  hung  by  a  slender  thread  and  for  some 


14  .  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

time  the  heroic  efforts  of  the  physician  and  my 
loving  mother's  care  seemed  unavailing;  but  after 
two  long  months  of  suffering  a  change  for  the  bet- 
ter came,  and  there  was  much  rejoicing  and  thank- 
fulness that  my  life  had  been  spared.  Gradually 
health  and  strength  returned,  but  during  these 
months  I  had  become  a  strong-willed,  petted  child 
accustomed  to  have  my  slightest  wish  gratified. 

As  might  perhaps  be  expected,  I  grew  to  have 
less  confidence  in  witchcraft  as  the  years  passed; 
and  when  I  was  about  twelve  years  of  age  an  inci- 
dent occurred  which  showed  to  me  the  gross  super- 
stitions that  were  commonly  believed.  I  longed 
for  the  time  to  come  when  I  might  be  able  to  con- 
vince the  poor  deluded  people  that  such  nonsense 
ought  to  be  entirely  renounced.  My  childish  heart 
revolted  at  the  bondage  of  these  superstitions. 

Mrs.  B.,  a  popular  Jewish  lady  with  a  family  of 
daughters  ranging  in  age  from  six  to  twenty  years, 
lived  in  our  town.  Their  house  was  very  large  and 
they  were  fond  of  entertaining,  and  on  nearly 
every  night  in  the  week  we  gathered  in  their  hos- 
pitable home,  both  old  and  young,  assured  of  a 
hearty  welcome  and  a  pleasant  time.  One  evening 
it  was  discovered  that  a  little  savings  bank  con- 
taining a  few  pieces  of  money  had  disappeared. 
The  general  belief  was  that  it  had  been  stolen, 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  16 

but  the  question  was,  "Who  could  have  taken  it?-' 
Inquiries  were  at  once  made,  as  the  bank  was 
highly  prized,  but  no  clue  was  found  that  would 
lead  to  its  recovery. 

An  old  Gentile  woman,  who  occasionally  did 
work  for  Mrs.  B.,  heard  about  the  loss  and  at  once 
volunteered  to  locate  the  missing  article.  As  all 
were  anxious  to  discover  the  guilty  one,  a  reward 
was  promised  the  woman  if  she  could  detect  the 
thief.  An  evening  was  set  for  the  purpose,  and  a 
number  of  the  usual  guests  were  present.  When 
all  were  seated  the  woman  was  called  in.  She 
brought  with  her  an  old  song  book  and  a  large 
rusty  key,  an  heirloom  of  several  generations, 
which  was  to  be  tested  by  the  oracle.  All  eyes 
were  fixed  upon  the  woman  and  her  actions,  the 
company  waiting  with  bated  breath.  The  general 
belief  in  such  cases  is  that  the  key  will  swing 
about  when  the  guilty  one  is  mentioned.  The 
woman  seized  the  key,  held  it  aloft,  and  thrice 
made  the  sign  of  the  cross  upon  key,  book  and 
herself,  while  the  family  and  guests  began  to  call 
off  the  names  of  those  present  and  the  names  of 
absent  neighbors,  but  there  was  no  sign  from  the 
oracle.  Again  the  woman  made  the  sign  of  the 
cross  and  asked  questions  of  the  oracle.  I  could 
keep  silent  no  longer  but  burst  into  laughter,  ex- 


16  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

claiming  that  we  were  all  foolish  to  believe  such 
nonsense,  and  I  declared  that  none  of  the  guests 
had  taken  the  bank,  for  we  were  not  thieves. 

My  remarks  and  unconcealed  mirth  angered  the 
woman,  who  warned  me  to  beware  lest  the  ven- 
geance of  the  oracle  fall  upon  me.  While  having 
no  fear  of  the  oracle,  I  suppressed  my  disgust, 
for  I  was  afraid  that  the  old  woman  might  do  me 
harm  or  even  brand  me  as  the  thief.  Soon  a  third 
attempt  was  made,  and  as  the  key  turned  around 
different  names  were  mentioned,  among  them 
being  that  of  an  orphan  girl  who  lived  with  her 
miserly  old  grandmother.  As  soon  as  this  name 
was  spoken,  the  book  swung  around.  Three  times 
this  was  done,  and  each  time  the  book  moved — a 
sure  sign  that  she  was  guilty. 

The  poor  girl,  bursting  into  tears,  declared  her 
innocence,  but  who  would  believe  her  in  the  face 
of  such  convincing  proof?  It  was  recalled  that 
only  a  few  days  previous  to  the  loss  of  the  bank 
she  had  been  seen  admiring  it,  and  besides  she  was 
the  only  one  of  the  guests  who  had  seen  it,  or  even 
knew  of  its  existence.  Mrs.  B.  and  her  daughters 
had  no  pity  for  the  lonely  girl,  though  those  pleas- 
ant evenings  at  their  home  had  been  the  only 
bright  spots  in  her  life.    Through  this  incident 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  17 

she  must  henceforth  be  deprived  of  even  such  a 
simple  pleasure. 

I  could  not  believe  her  guilty ;  and,  child  though 
I  was,  I  endeavored  to  defend  her.  But  the  others 
were  so  positive  of  her  guilt  that  they  would  not 
listen  to  reason,  insisting  that  she  must  give  up 
the  stolen  bank  or  they  would  have  her  arrested. 
In  vain  the  girl  protested  her  innocence;  and,  had 
it  not  been  for  Mrs.  B.'s  refusal  to  have  an  officer 
enter  her  home,  the  girl  would  have  been  arrested 
at  that  time.  As  it  was,  she  was  told  to  go  home 
and  never  to  let  her  face  be  seen  in  that  home 
again.  As  the  poor  girl  left  the  room,  my  heart 
went  out  to  her  in  sympathy.  Even  now  I  seem  to 
see  her  pale  sad  face  and  hear  her  sobs  as  she  went 
forth  from  that  home. 

Utterly  disgusted  with  the  whole  proceeding,  I 
resolved  never  again  to  mingle  with  those  super- 
stitious people.  But  soon  my  resolution  was 
broken,  and  I  decided  to  go  as  usual,  determined 
at  some  future  time  to  secrete  something  and 
thereby  ascertain  for  my  own  satisfaction  whether 
the  old  woman  could  find  me  out  in  it. 

One  Sunday  evening  a  number  of  guests  had 
gathered  in  the  pleasant  parlors  and  when  I  en- 
tered were  already  engaged  in  various  games.  The 
chairs  in  the  room  were  all  occupied  and  I  was 


18  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

told  to  step  into  an  adjoining  room  for  a  chair. 
As  I  glanced  about  the  apartment  my  eyes  rested 
upon  a  small  purse  lying  on  the  bed.  Instantly 
the  thought  flashed  into  my  mind  that  now  was  the 
opportunity  to  test  the  Gentile  w^oman's  power ; 
so,  taking  the  purse,  I  put  it  in  my  pocket  and  re- 
turned with  a  chair  to  the  other  room. 

I  was  relieved  when  we  dispersed,  for  the  secret 
had  begun  to  weigh  heavily  upon  my  mind.  Dur- 
ing the  night  I  could  not  sleep,  so  impatient  was 
I  to  learn  whether  or  not  the  loss  had  been  dis- 
covered. As  soon  as  school  was  out  the  following 
day,  I  hastened  to  the  home  of  Mrs.  B.  Sure 
enough  the  purse  was  missing,  but  no  one  could 
imagine  who  could  have  been  so  unkind  as  to  steal 
froni  them.  Whoever  had  taken  it  must  have  en- 
tered the  bedroom,  and  they  were  at  a  loss  to  know 
who  it  could  have  been.  I  suggested  that  it  might 
be  well  to  consult  the  old  woman  who  had  discov- 
ered the  thief  on  the  former  occasion,  and  I  was  so 
eager  and  anxious  to  learn  what  she  could  do  that 
I  offered  to  go  for  her.  The  woman  promised  to 
come  as  soon  as  she  could,  though  I  had  begged 
her  to  come  at  once  with  me. 

The  time  of  waiting  seemed  long,  but  at  last  she 
appeared,  her  book  and  key  carefully  wrapped  in 
a  handkerchief,  and  on  her  face  a  grave,  solemn 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  19 

look.  As  soon  as  possible  she  arranged  the  key  and 
book  as  before.  We  all  stood  round  about  her, 
and,  though  I  had  little  faith  in  her  charms,  my 
heart  beat  fast  and  my  hands  trembled  violently 
when  one  by  one  the  names  were  mentioned  of  all 
who  had  been  present  the  previous  night.  Still 
the  book  remained  perfectly  motionless.  Then  I 
spoke  the  name  of  the  girl  who  had  been  accused 
of  taking  the  bank,  and  immediately  the  book 
swung  around,  not  once  only  but  three  times. 
The  woman  triumphantly  held  up  her  book  and 
key,  declaring  that  her  heirloom  never  failed  her, 
and  saying,  "You  can  see  for  yourselves  that  the 
girl  is  a  thief.  She  stole  the  bank  not  long  since 
and  now  is  in  possession  of  the  purse." 

In  spite  of  proof  of  the  girPs  innocence,  the 
woman  insisted  that  she  was  guilty.  My  friends 
said  they  knew  she  had  not  taken  it,  for  she  had 
not  been  in  the  house  since  she  had  left  it  in  dis- 
grace. Calmly  I  declared  that  I  was  positive  of 
her  innocence,  yet  I  dared  not  tell  all,  as  I  had 
thrown  away  the  purse. 

Another  prevalent  superstition  was  that  when 
an  article  of  clothing  had  been  stolen,  the  thief 
could  be  found  by  burying  a  piece  of  the  cloth  if 
any  scraps  could  be  found.  It  was  believed  that, 
aB  soon  as  the  cloth  began  to  decay,  being  buried 


20  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

in  a  grave  with  a  corpse,  the  body  of  the  thief 
would  also  decay  and  death  would  soon  follow. 
So  fully  was  this  believed,  and  so  intense  was  the 
fear  of  the  terrible  results,  that  often  the  mere 
rumor  of  resorting  to  such  means  was  sufficient  to 
insure  the  return  of  the  stolen  property. 

At  one  time  clothing  was  taken  from  our  home 
and  a  certain  person  was  suspected,  though  there 
was  no  proof  of  her  guilt.  My  mother  spoke  of  her 
intention  of  burying  a  piece  of  the  cloth,  taking 
care  that  this  person  should  hear  of  it.  This 
threat  had  the  desired  effect,  for  the  next  day  the 
clothes  rolled  in  a  bundle  were  found  on  our  door- 
steps. 

Often  have  I  looked  back  to  that  time  of  black 
superstition  and  realized  the  meaning  of  the  words 
of  the  prophet,  "Behold  the  darkness  shall  cover 
the  earth,  and  gross  darkness  the  people.'' 
(Isaiah  Ix,  2.) 


CHAPTER  II. 

In  the  face  of  the  existing  superstition  there 
was  little  known  about  the  religion  of  Christ.  The 
Roman  Catholic  Church,  with  her  gross  idolatry, 
had  full  sway,  having  shrines  and  images  located 
on  the  public  roads.  The  Lutheran  Church, 
though  without  shrines  or  pictures,  also  failed  to 
uphold  the  banner  of  Jesus  Christ.  On  Sunday 
morning  Catholics  and  Lutherans  could  be  seen  at 
church.  After  the  services  they  would  freely  visit 
the  saloons,  many  of  them  becoming  drunk;  quar- 
rels and  disturbances  would  follow,  disgracing  the 
Christian's  sacred  day.  Dance  halls  were  wide  open 
and  beer  gardens  flourished.  Jews  living  in  the  town 
had  nothing  in  common  with  Christians,  dealing 
with  them  in  business  affairs  only.  They  enjoyed 
their  own  amusements,  attended  the  synagogue, 
and  educated  their  children  in  a  Hebrew  school. 

Until  of  a  certain  age  Jewish  children  were  in- 
structed by  a  Rabbi  in  elementary  things,  and 
their  studies  were  completed  in  the  public  school 
with  Gentile  children.  My  mother  dreaded  the 
time  w^hen  she  must  send  her  children  to  the  pub- 
lic school,  as  she  knew  what  indignities  we  would 
suffer  at  the  hand  of  these  children,  because  of  our 
being  Jews,  or,  as  they  termed  it,  "Christ  Killers.'' 

My  brother  and  I  entered  the  local  school,  where 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 


unfortunately  the  children  were  mostly  Gentile; 
and  in  those  first  days  we  were  made  the  targets 
of  their  derision  and  hatred,  but  patiently  we  bore 
the  spiteful  things  said  and  done.  Through  hard 
study  and  outward  serenity  we  won  the  favor  of 
our  teachers  and  many  friends  from  among  our 
classmates.  Still,  what  a  storm  of  hatred  and  bit- 
terness raged  in  my  heart  against  them  and  their 
religion !  It  seemed  to  me  nothing  but  a  persecu- 
tion of  our  people. 

The  mother  of  one  of  my  classmates  had 
become  a  Christian  and  had  joined  the  Baptist 
Church,  being  the  only  person  in  our  town  belong- 
ing to  this  denomination.  She  became  the  object 
of  much  persecution  at  the  hands  of  those  who 
claimed  to  be  Christians,  because  she  had  left  the 
Lutheran  Church.  Her  daughter  and  I  became 
close  friends,  as  did  also  our  brothers.  We  often 
went  to  their  home  where  they  had  a  large  play- 
ground and  a  fine  fruit  orchard.  There  we  studied 
our  lessons,  afterwards  enjoying  play  and  fun. 

The  mother,  Mrs.  Deike,  often  joined  us  and  we 
grew  to  love  her  very  dearly.  She  was  indeed  a 
Christian  whose  life  was  fully  consecrated  to  the 
Lord.  As  we  became  better  acquainted,  she  began 
in  a  simple,  loving  way  to  tell  us  of  Jesus,  the 
promised  Messiah,  the  King  of  the  Jews.    It  was  a 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


sweet  story  and  new  to  us.  We  listened  eagerly 
as  she  spoke  of  Him  who  had  come  as  the  fulfill- 
ment of  all  the  Old  Testament  prophecies  in  which 
our  people  believed.  Up  to  this  time  we  had  not 
known  the  difference  between  Roman  Catholics, 
Lutherans  or  Baptists.  All  to  us  were  alike.  All 
were  idolaters.  The  followers  of  Jesus,  no  matter 
what  their  name,  we  classed  as  heathen  whose 
chief  object  in  life  was  the  persecution  of  the  Jews. 
Our  people  had  received  no  love  or  sympathy  from 
these  so-called  Christians;  and  now,  for  the  first 
time,  we  heard  that  Jesus  came  to  save  the  Jews 
and  not  to  persecute  them. 

We  were  very  fond  of  Mrs.  Deike  and  loved  to 
listen  to  her,  but  this  was  all  so  strange  that  we 
could  not  believe  it.  I  was  not  given  to  argument, 
but  my  brother,  who  was  tw^o  years  my  senior, 
argued  much  with  her,  telling  her  that  it  was 
impossible  for  Jesus  to  be  the  Son  of  God,  the  Sav- 
iour of  mankind.  But  she  was  not  discouraged 
and  patiently  she  tried  in  every  way  to  convince 
us  of  the  divinity  of  Christ.  Finally  my  brother 
told  her  that  our  religion  was  far  superior  to  hers ; 
quietly  she  replied  that  she  read  the  same  Bible  and 
that  it  was  her  only  guide.  But  to  this  he  invari- 
ably replied,  "O  yes,  your  Bible  is  so  constructed 


24  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

that  the  Old  may  fit  the  new  Testament,  and  the 
New  the  Old." 

At  last,  however,  he  was  persuaded  to  get  a 
Hebrew  Bible  with  German  translation  from  the 
Rabbi,  so  that  they  might  compare  Bibles.  My 
brother  brought  his  book  to  Mrs.  Deike  and  a  most 
diligent  comparison  began.  The  Bibles  were  found 
to  be  in  everything  the  same,  and  my  brother  be- 
came intensely  interested  and  began  to  study  the 
Word  of  God.  He  came  to  the  53d  of  Isaiah,  and 
read  of  the  Messiah : 

"He  is  despised  and  rejected  of  men;  a  man  of 
sorrows  and  acquainted  with  grief;  and  we  hid  as 
it  were  our  faces  from  Him;  He  was  despised  and 
we  esteemed  Him  not." 

"Surely  He  hath  borne  our  griefs  and  carried 
our  sorrows:  yet  we  did  esteem  Him  stricken, 
smitten  of  God,  and  afflicted. 

"But  He  was  wounded  for  our  transgressions. 
He  was  bruised  for  our  iniquities;  the  chastise- 
ment of  our  peace  was  upon  Him;  and  with  His 
stripes  we  are  healed." 

He  stopped  and  asked,  "What  does  this  mean? 
Who  is  it?  Who  has  borne  our  griefs?  Who  was 
wounded  for  our  transgressions?" 

"It  is  Jesus  of  Nazaareth  whom  you  hate  and 
despise,"  was  Mrs.  Deike's  reply. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  25 

From  that  moment  my  brother  began  to  see  the 
light  in  Christ  Jesus,  and  he  accepted  Him  as  his 
personal  Saviour.  He  was  then  not  quite  thirteen 
years  old,  and  he  told  no  one  of  the  family  of  his 
new-found  faith.  The  time  for  his  confirmation 
(or  Bar  Mitzwah)  was  at  hand,  when  he  was  to 
become  a  son  of  the  law,  and  he  went  through  the 
ceremonies,  although  in  secret  he  was  a  Christian. 

Not  long  after  this  he  was  apprenticed  to  a  Jew- 
ish merchant  who  had  a  large  iron  business  in  a 
town  about  forty-eight  miles  from  home.  He  was 
a  very  strict  orthodox  Jew.  It  was  agreed  that  my 
brother  should  remain  there  for  three  years. 
After  his  departure  I  continued  to  visit  the  Deike 
family,  but  they  soon  moved  into  the  country  on  a 
farm  about  twelve  miles  from  town.  The  friendly 
ties  were  severed,  and  the  teachings  of  that  saintly 
woman  completely  forgotten  for  a  time,  as  no  last- 
ing impression  had  been  made  on  my  heart.  Two 
years  swiftly  passed  by,  during  which  I  was  occu- 
pied with  my  studies.  Then  my  brother  returned 
home  for  a  visit.  It  was  a  red-letter  day  with  our 
family,  and  as  he  was  my  favorite  brother  we 
spent  much  time  together  during  these  happy  vaca- 
tion days.  He  had  been  at  home  a  week  when  one 
day  I  met  Mrs.  Deike  and  told  her  of  his  arrival. 
She  was  pleased  and  readily  accepted  my  invita- 


26  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

tion  for  her  to  call.  I  thought  my  brother  would 
be  especially  pleased  to  see  her,  but  I  was  sadly 
disappointed;  for,  as  soon  as  he  saw  us  approach- 
ing he  immediately  left  the  room.  I  wondered  at 
this  action  because  he  had  been  greatly  attached  to 
her.  My  parents  were  very  glad  to  see  her  and 
after  a  time  my  brother  was  persuaded  to  come  in. 
He  spoke  to  her,  but  all  could  see  that  his  welcome 
was  far  from  being  hearty. 

Mrs.  Deike  told  us  of  her  beautiful  home  in  the 
country  and  how  much  they  all  enjoyed  being 
there.  I  was  intensely  interested,  for  I  had  never 
been  in  the  country  and  I  expressed  a  desire  to  see 
it.  Thereupon  she  invited  my  brother  and  myself 
to  spend  a  few  days  with  her,  promising  to  send  a 
team  for  us  if  we  would  appoint  a  day.  Our  par- 
ents objected  to  the  visit  and  made  many  excuses 
for  not  letting  us  go,  but  she  finally  persuaded 
them,  and  they  consented  to  let  us  go  for  a  day  or 
two,  providing  she  would  give  us  nothing  to  eat 
which  was  not  allowed  by  our  religion.  She  prom- 
ised not  to  give  us  anything  but  eggs,  bread,  butter 
and  milk.  In  order  that  there  should  be  no  possi- 
bility of  defilement,  Mrs.  Deike  advised  us  to  carry 
with  us  a  little  kettle  in  which  to  boil  the  eggs  and 
milk  for  our  use. 

I  was  full  of  joy  at  the  prospect  of  a  visit  to  the 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  27 

country,  but  my  brother  was  not  so  enthusiastic. 
Indeed,  he  had  promised  to  go  merely  to  gratify 
me.  At  last  the  eventful  day  dawned,  a  bright, 
beautiful  spring  day.  We  started  early  in  the 
morning,  walking  through  the  woods,  listening  to 
the  happy  song  of  birds.  We  had  planned  to  meet 
Mr.  Deike,  but  he  had  forgotten  to  send  the  team 
for  us,  thinking  we  were  to  come  another  day.  We 
walked  on  watching  for  the  team,  but  none  ap- 
peared. 

It  seemed  a  16ng  distance  those  twelve  miles,  but 
we  walked  bravely  on,  talking  as  we  went,  for  we 
had  much  to  say  to  each  other  after  our  long  sep- 
aration. Toward  the  end  of  our  walk  we  became 
tired  and  often  sat  down  by  the  wayside.  After 
going  through  the  eight  miles  of  forest  and  while 
going  through  the  fields  with  but  two  more  miles 
before  us,  my  brother  suddenly  stopped  and  said, 
"Don't  let  us  go  on ;  let  us  turn  back  and  go  home." 

I  was  much  surprised  at  this  remark  and  won- 
dered what  had  come  over  him,  but  I  said  that  we 
had  better  hasten  on.  We  did  so,  but  soon  were 
obliged  to  sit  down  again  to  rest.  Sitting  with  our 
hands  clasped  in  each  others,  he  tried  to  persuade 
me  not  to  go  on,  but  to  give  up  the  trip,  assuring 
me  with  tears  in  his  eyes  that  it  was  wrong  for 
Jews  to  ivingle  with  Gentiles,  or  to'  have  any  inter- 


28  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

course  with  them.  "We  shall  surely  come  to 
grief,"  he  said,  "if  we  proceed  on  our  journey  and 
venture  into  danger." 

But  I  would  not  listen  to  him,  being  determined 
to  see  the  farm,  and  I  felt  too  weary  to  walk  back 
those  long  miles.  I  fully  agreed  with  him  that  we 
should  not  associate  too  freely  with  the  Gentiles, 
but  could  see  no  harm  in  making  a  short  visit  in  a 
Gentile  home.  I  insisted  that  since  we  had  gone 
so  far  we  ought  not  to  turn  back,  and  although 
very  tired  I  went  on  and  he  was  compelled  to  fol- 
low. His  face  looked  grave  and  troubled.  For 
the  last  time  he  begged  me  to  turn  back,  but  I 
would  not,  and  only  laughed  at  him. 

Oh,  had  I  but  known  what  would  happen  and 
foreseen  the  future!  Surely  I  would  not  have 
laughed  at  him,  neither  would  I  have  crossed  a 
Gentile's  threshold. 

How  often  in  after  days  did  I  wring  my  hands 
in  agony  and  curse  my  obstinate  will  for  thus  put- 
ting my  brother  in  the  power  of  Satan,  as  I  imag- 
ined I  had  done !  God  in  His  mercy  did  not  reveal 
to  me  the  future,  and  I  became  the  instrument  in 
His  hand  of  leading  my  brother  on  to  the  greatest 
blessing,  though  unconscious  of  the  fact. 

As  we  drew  near  to  the  farm,  my  brother  said, 
"Now  as  we  are  to  be  the  guests  of  Gentiles  and 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 


are  to  remain  with  them  over  night,  let  us  be  care- 
ful what  we  say  and  do.  Be  sure  not  to  forget  to 
wash  your  hands  the  first  thing  in  the  morning 
and  say  your  prayers."  I  faithfully  promised  to 
do  so,  and  assured  him  that  so  far  I  had  never  for- 
gotten to  do  my  duty.  Our  parents  were  very 
strict  in  the  observance  of  the  law,  particularly  in 
regard  to  the  washing  of  hands.  This  had  to  be 
done  the  first  thing  in  the  morning  before  we  were 
fully  dressed.  The  water  was  poured  three  times 
over  the  hands  and  face,  a  little  prayer  was  said, 
and  then  we  finished  dressing  and  made  ready  for 
breakfast. 

Brother  also  requested  me  to  remain  near  him 
all  the  time,  not  leaving  him  alone  with  Mrs.  Deike 
or  any  of  the  family.  This  I  promised  also  to  do, 
though  I  wondered  why  he  was  afraid  to  have 
them  talk  to  him  in  private.  I  hesitated  about 
asking  him  for  fear  of  offending  him,  but  his 
clouded  face  brightened  when  I  had  given  the 
promise. 

Soon  we  came  in  sight  of  the  whitewashed  farm 
house.  Even  the  smoke  curling  out  of  the  chimney 
seemed  beckoning  us  to  a  place  where  rest  and  re- 
freshment awaited  us.  We  were  warmly  welcomed 
by  Mrs.  Deike,  who  apologized  for  her  forgetful- 
ness  and  neglect  in  not  sending  a  wagon  to  meet 


80  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

US.  In  a  short  time  our  fatigue  was  forgotten  as  we 
sat  in  an  arbor  eating  with  appetites  of  healthy 
children  a  repast  consisting  of  bread,  butter,  milk, 
and  eggs. 

As  soon  as  we  were  rested,  forgetting  my 
brother's  request,  I  ran  off  to  play  with  the  girls 
and  to  see  all  the  wonderful  things  on  the  farm. 
We  had  so  much  to  talk  about  that  I  could  not 
bear  to  waste  any  time.  The  farm  yard  was  thor- 
oughly explored,  where  I  found  many  things  of 
interest  to  a  city  girl.  Among  them  I  saw  a  pen  of 
seven  little  pigs  which  were  a  source  of  delight 
to  my  companions,  but  to  me  they  seemed  rather 
disgusting,  for  at  home  we  had  been  taught  never 
to  look  upon  a  pig.  If  we  could  not  avoid  so  doing 
we  must  spit  upon  the  ground  as  a  sign  of  our 
disgust  at  the  sight. 

Suddenly  I  remembered  the  promise  given  to  my 
brother,  and  without  any  explanation  to  the  girls, 
I  rushed  to  the  arbor  where  I  had  left  him  alone 
with  Mrs.  Deike.  I  found  them  so  absorbed  in 
conversation  that  they  did  not  notice  my  approach. 
She  was  holding  my  brother's  hands,  and  I  could 
see  the  tears  rolling  down  his  cheeks. 

Fearing  that  some  one  had  hurt  his  feelings,  I 
walked  up  to  them  and  demanded  to  know  the  cause 
of  his  tears,  saying  that  if  they  hurt  my  brother 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  31 

we  should  go  home  immediately,  even  if  we  had  to 
walk  the  entire  distance.  Neither  of  them  gave 
me  any  satisfaction  or  enlightened  me  as  to  the 
cause  of  his  sorrow.  Not  until  later  did  I  learn 
the  truth.  My  brother  had  been  a  Christian  all 
these  years,  though  he  had  been  afraid  to  confess  it. 
Since  leaving  home  he  had  been  associated  with 
Jewish  people,  going  with  them  to  the  synagogue 
on  the  holy  days  and  on  the  Jewish  Sabbath. 
Though  apparently  a  Jew,  in  his  heart  he  was  a 
Christian,  and  his  soul  was  stayed  on  Christ.  Dur- 
ing the  two  years  he  and  Mrs.  Deike  had  kept  up  a 
correspondence,  through  which  she  constantly  en- 
couraged him  in  his  Christian  life  and  faith. 

One  of  her  letters  had  become  mislaid  and  had 
been  found  by  my  brother's  employer,  who  did  not 
hesitate  to  read  it;  and  great  was  the  indignation 
of  the  Jewish  merchant  when  he  discovered  that 
an  inmate  of  his  household  was  a  believer  in  Jesus 
Christ,  the  hanged  Nazarene.  When  my  brother 
was  taken  to  task  and  ordered  to  deny  the  claims 
of  Jesus,  he  frankly  admitted  that  he  was  a  Chris- 
tian and  that  all  his  hopes  were  centered  upon  the 
Christ. 

Upon  hearing  this,  the  man  became  so  enraged 
that  he  slapped  my  brother's  face  and  threatened 


32  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

to  send  for  his  parents  to  acquaint  them  with  the 
news. 

The  poor  boy  was  very  much  frightened;  for  he 
felt  that  he  could  not  yet  meet  his  parents  and  de- 
clare to  them  that  he  had  found  the  Messiah,  so  he 
promised  his  employer  that  if  he  would  not  inform 
his  parents  that  he  would  discontinue  the  corre- 
spondence with  Mrs.  Deike,  and  would  no  longer 
read  the  New  Testament.  He  was  compelled  to  give 
up  his  Bible,  which  was  torn  into  small  pieces.  He 
afterward  found  some  whole  leaves  which  he  con- 
cealed beneath  his  clothes  in  his  trunk. 

Mrs.  Deike's  letters  remained  unanswered,  and 
his  faith  decreased  until  he  became  once  more  an 
orthodox  Jew.  This  was  the  reason  why  he  did  not 
like  to  meet  Mrs.  Deike  and  have  a  personal  con- 
versation with  her ;  but  that  day  when  she  inquired 
concerning  his  Christian  life  he  broke  down  and 
confessed  that  he  had  denied  his  Lord  and  Master. 

He  began  anew,  his  faith  in  Christ  was  renewed, 
and  his  love  rekindled.  He  promised  that  at  what- 
ever cost  he  would  be  true  to  the  Lord  Jesus ;  and 
when  his  apprenticeship  was  finished  he  would 
openly  confess  Him  in  baptism.  He  kept  this  prom- 
ise, and  all  these  years  has  continued  a  faithful 
follower  of  Christ. 

The  next  day  we  returned  home,  Mrs.  Deike's 


DRli^lS'^f^i^^^^OME.  33 

team  carrying  us  within  a  mile  of  home,  and  as  we 
walked  the  remaining  distance  we  exchanged 
thought  in  regard  to  the  Christian  religion.  While 
my  brother  said  nothing  about  his  personal  faith 
in  Christ,  he  spoke  very  kindly  of  Christianity. 

I  had  been  deeply  interested  in  the  family  wor- 
ship, both  night  and  morning,  and  although  noth- 
ing was  said  to  us  about  Christ,  I  was  much  im- 
pressed with  the  beauty  of  such  simple  household 
meetings  for  reading  the  Bible  and  prayer.  The 
scene  was  indellibly  fixed,  and  I  could  not  forget 
it,  much  as  I  wished  to  do  so. 


CHAPTER    III. 

My  brother  soon  left  home  to  complete  his  busi- 
ness training.  After  an  absence  of  one  year  he  re- 
turned, making  our  family  circle  once  more  com- 
plete. During  the  following  two  months  he  twice 
visited  the  Deike  family;  once  with  the  consent  of 
our  parents,  the  other  time  without  it,  father  hav- 
ing forbidden  him  to  go  there  again,  saying:  "A 
Gentile  house  is  not  a  place  for  a  Jew." 

As  time  moved  on  it  was  thought  advisable  to 
secure  a  position  for  him  as  clerk  in  a  store.  A 
number  of  places  were  open  to  him,  but  he  did  not 
accept  any  of  them. 

About  this  time  the  feast  of  the  first  fruits  of  in- 
gathering or  Pentecost  was  to  take  place.  This 
occurs  seven  weeks  after  the  Passover.  For  some 
reason  my  father  was  away  from  home  for  the  feast 
days. 

On  the  second  day  of  the  feast  my  brother  re- 
ceived a  letter.  After  reading  it  he  said :  "Mother, 
I  have  an  offer  of  a  good  position,  and  I  believe  I 
ought  to  accept  it  at  once.  If  I  take  it,  there  will 
be  no  time  to  lose,  hence  I  must  leave  to-morrow." 
Usually  he  read  his  letters  to  the  family,  but  this 
one,  after  reading,  he  tucked  away  in  his  pocket. 
This  aroused  mother's  suspicions,  and  she  decided 
to  find  out  why  he  so  carefully  guarded  the  letter. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  36 

Early  the  next  morning  she  came  to  my  bedside 
and  awaking  me  said,  *^Be  quiet,  here  is  something 
I  want  you  to  read  for  me.''  I  quickly  arose,  and 
took  brother's  letter  from  her  hand.  Upon  opening 
it  I  was  astonished  to  find  that  it  was  not  a  business 
letter,  but  from  a  friend,  urging  him  to  stand  by 
his  faith  in  Jesus  Christ,  to  make  an  open  profes- 
sion even  though  it  might  mean  the  forsaking  of 
everything  for  Him. 

The  writer  of  this  letter  had  been  a  University 
student,  who  had  been  led  to  see  his  lost  condition, 
and  to  trust  only  in  Jesus  Christ  for  salvation.  He 
had  left  the  university  and  had  earned  his  living 
as  a  common  workman  in  an  iron  mill.  After 
speaking  of  the  sacrifices  he  himself  had  been  called 
to  make  through  becoming  a  Christian,  he,  the  son 
of  a  Rabbi,  told  of  his  conversion,  and  of  his  faith 
in  the  promised  Messiah,  also  how  he  had  been  dis- 
owned by  his  parents  and  ostracised  by  all  his  for- 
mer friends.  He  wrote :  "I  have  found  in  Jesus  a 
friend  that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother ;"  and  con- 
cluded by  saying :  "God  has  been  good  to  me.  He 
has  guided  me  through  the  storms  of  life,  and  now 
I  am  preaching  the  blessed  Gospel  of  Jesus." 

He  lived  in  a  distant  city,  about  one  hundred 
miles  irom  our  home,  and  urged  my  brother  to 
come  to  him.    As  my  eyes  glanced  over  the  pages, 


86  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

it  seemed  that  my  blood  turned  cold  and  my  heart 
almost  ceased  beating,  as  I  realized  that  my  brother, 
our  oldest  and  best  beloved,  was  being  urged  to 
believe  in  the  despised  Nazarene.  It  seemed  im- 
possible that  he  could  even  think  of  becoming  a 
Christian.  I  was  much  alarmed,  but  did  not  read 
the  letter  to  mother;  but  I  told  her  under  no  con- 
dition to  allow  the  boy  to  leave,  as  the  place  where 
he  intended  to  go  was  unsuitable  for  him,  excusing 
my  action  by  saying  that  the  writing  was  so  poor 
I  was  unable  to  read  it.  Poor  mother  believed  me, 
and  restored  the  letter  to  its  place. 

We  went  back  to  bed,  but  sleep  had  departed 
from  me.  Constantly  before  me  I  could  only  see  the 
words,  "Believe  and  trust  only  in  Jesus." 

It  was  a  cruel  blow  to  me  to  think  that  my  be- 
loved brother  should  be  entreated  to  believe  in  a 
traitor,  for  such  I  considered  Jesus  Christ.  In 
vain  I  racked  my  brain  for  any  motive  that  could 
impel  him  to  such  a  course.  I  still  hoped  there  was 
a  mistake  somewhere;  I  could  not  believe  that  my 
brother  could  so  far  forget  himself  as  to  bring  dis- 
grace upon  his  family  by  becoming  a  follower  of 
"the  hanged  one."  For  this  reason  I  refrained  from 
telling  mother. 

That  morning  he  was  to  accompany  mother  to 
the  synagogue,  but  on  some  pretext  I  kept  him  at 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  37 

home,  and  mother  went  alone.  Then  I  told  him  why 
I  had  kept  him.  As  soon  as  I  mentioned  the  letter 
his  face  became  white  and  he  began  to  tremble  and 
was  unable  to  answer  the  questions  I  poured  thick 
and  fast  upon  him.  As  I  saw  his  embarrassment, 
belief  in  his  guilt  was  confirmed,  and  I  cursed  him 
in  downright  Jewish  fashion,  threatening  to  tell 
mother  and  promising  dire  punishment  for  ever  en- 
tertaining ideas  of  heathenism. 

When  I  at  last  gave  him  a  chance  to  speak,  he 
tried  to  explain  why  he  believed  in  Jesus  as  the 
Saviour.  As  he  mentioned  the  name  of  Jesus  I  put 
my  fingers  in  my  ears  and  screamed  as  loudly  as 
possible  in  order  to  drown  his  voice,  for  I  did  not 
want  to  hear  anything  about  Him. 

I  told  him  that  he  was  no  brother  of  mine,  and 
added,  "you  will  soon  be  an  outcast  from  our  home, 
for  I  am  determined  to  tell  mother  everything  when 
she  returns."  He  put  his  arms  around  my  neck  and 
pleaded,  "Please  don't  be  angry  with  me,  Jeanette, 
and  don't  say  anything  to  mother  until  after  I  have 
gone." 

His  pleading  touched  my  heart,  and  I  promised 
to  say  nothing  if  he  would  consent  to  remain  at 
home  until  a  more  suitable  position  was  found  for 
him.  Our  conversation  was  interrupted,  and  dur- 
ing the  remainder  of  the  day  there  was  no  oppor- 


38  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

tunity  for  us  to  be  alone.  The  next  morning,  as 
the  holy  days  were  over,  I  went  back  to  school,  cau- 
tioning mother  not  to  let  brother  leave  home.  She 
had  no  idea  why  I  so  strongly  insisted  upon  his  re- 
maining, but  supposed  it  was  because  of  my  fond- 
ness for  him. 

All  that  morning  my  thoughts  were  at  home  with 
my  brother,  I  could  hardly  wait  for  the  closing  bell 
to  ring,  but  as  soon  as  it  did  I  laid  aside  my  books 
and  hastened  home  to  find  the  house  empty  and 
my  brother  gone  from  home  never  to  return. 

A  feeling  of  desolation  came  over  me  as  I  realized 
that  I  had  lost  a  brother,  who  would  never  again  be 
the  same  to  us,  but  must  be  considered  as  one  dead. 

My  first  impulse  was  to  tell  my  parents  what  I 
knew;  but  on  second  thought  J  decided  to  say  noth- 
ing until  I  had  heard  from  him,  all  the  time  hoping 
he  would  not  bring  disgrace  upon  us  by  becoming 
a  Meshumed  (turncoat).  For  two  weeks  I  waited 
for  news  of  him.  He  wrote  home,  but  from  the  let- 
ters I  could  obtain  no  information  in  regard  to  his 
actions.  Finally  the  suspense  became  unbearable, 
and  I  wrote  to  ^iv.  Curant,  the  minister,  for  I  had 
kept  his  name  and  address  in  mind  since  reading 
his  letter  to  my  brother.  ( This  earnest  man,  by  the 
way,  is  still  preaching  in  Bromberg,  Germany. ) 

I  asked  him  what  he  had  done  with  my  brother, 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


and  whether  he  could  not  have  found  other  victims 
for  his  religion  without  stealing  my  brother  from 
his  home  and  making  a  Meshumed  of  him.  I  also 
demanded:  "How  much  money  did  you  pay  my 
brother  for  coming  to  you,  and  how  much  would 
you  pay  me  to  make  me  a  Christian?''  I  accepted 
the  current  opinion  that  for  every  Jewish  convert 
a  large  sum  of  money  was  paid. 

That  bitter,  sarcastic  letter  was  written  with  the 
expectation  that  the  minister  would  relent  and  in- 
duce my  brother  to  return  to  us.  But  I  was  greatly 
mistaken,  for,  instead  of  my  brother's  return  I  re- 
ceived a  letter  from  him,  telling  me  of  his  baptism 
and  his  great  joy  in  his  new-found  faith.  He  said : 
"The  only  sorrow  I  have  is  that  my  dear  ones  at 
home  do  not  share  my  joy  and  happiness,"  and  he 
assured  me  that  neither  he  nor  the  minister  had 
been  paid  any  money,  adding,  "No  one  is  benefited 
by  my  baptism  except  myself.  Christians  do  not 
buy  souls,  as  you  think." 

It  was  a  terrible  blow,  for  no  greater  disgrace 
could  be  imagined  to  a  Jewish  family  than  for  one 
of  its  members  to  become  a  Meshumed.  I  had  heard 
of  such  things,  but  had  never  dreamed  that  such 
a  calamity  could  happen  to  our  family,  for  we  had 
been  raised  very  carefully  in  the  Jewish  faith,  our 
parents  priding  themselves  upon  the  fact  that  their 


40  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

ancestors  had  all  been  strictly  orthodox  in  religion. 
It  seemed  impossible  that  he,  the  oldest  son,  had 
left  the  true  fold,  for  never  before  had  a  member 
of  their  family  gone  astray,  for  was  not  he  the  one 
upon  whom  our  parents  depended  to  say  *  caddish, 
after  they  were  gone  to  be  with  Abraham,  Isaac  and 
Jacob? 

I  read  and  reread  the  letter,  but  there  it  was 
plainly  written,  ^'I  have  been  baptized."  There  could 
be  no  mistake.  First  sorrow,  then  anger  entered  my 
heart.  I  tore  the  letter  into  small  pieces  and  threw 
them  away,  but  my  mother  seeing  what  I  did  com- 
manded me  to  tell  her  what  it  meant. 

I  told  her  all  I  knew,  and  never  shall  I  forget 
the  expression  on  her  face  and  her  agonizing 
shrieks  when  I  told  her  that  her  boy,  her  pride, 
had  become  a  Meshumed.  She  declared  again  and 
again  that  it  could  not  be  true.  O  how  glad  I  would 
have  been  to  have  been  able  to  tell  her  that  it  was 
a  mistake;  but  alas!  it  was  only  too  true  that  it 
was  her  own  boy.  No  one  but  God  knew  what  my 
mother  suffered;  she  did  not  seem  to  care  to  live 
and  bear  the  reproach  of  having  one  of  her  family 
renounce  the  religion  of  his  fathers.  But  still 
greater  sorrow  was  in  store  for  her. 

For  a  while  after  I  told  her  it  seemed  that  reason 

*A  prayer  for  the  dead. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  41 

left  her;  she  tore  her  hair  and  threw  herself  upon 
the  floor  and  prayed  that  God  might  show  her 
mercy,  and  send  back  her  erring  boy;  but  her 
prayer  was  never  answered.  So  terrible  was  her 
grief  that  within  a  few  weeks  her  hair  turned 
white.  Three  times  a  week  she  fasted,  to  every 
beggar  she  gave  alms;  at  night  she  stood  by  the 
open  window,  stretchings  forth  her  hands  toward 
heaven,  beseeching  God  to  restore  her  child  to  her. 

Mother  and  I  guarded  our  secret  carefully  so 
that  no  member  of  our  family  should  learn  of  the 
calamity  that  had  befallen  us.  Mother  often  asked 
me,  "Why  did  he  forsake  the  God  of  his  fathers? 
What  possible  object  could  he  have  had  in  view?" 
I  could  not  tell  her,  for  I  had  not  been  in  his  con- 
fidence, and,  though  I  told  her  I  knew  not,  she 
would  not  believe  me. 

One  day,  as  she  was  plying  me  with  questions  and 
was  very  persistent  in  her  demands  as  to  why  he 
had  given  up  Judaism,  I  grew  weary  and  told  her 
not  to  ask  me  again,  and  added,  "The  only  one  who 
can  answer  your  questions  is  Mrs.  Deike.  If  you 
wish,  I  am  willing  to  see  her  and  find  out  all  I  can." 

As  a  drowning  man  grasps  at  a  straw,  mother 
seized  at  this  ray  of  hope,  and  insisted  on  my  going 
at  once  to  Mrs.  Deike's  home.  I  had  little  confi- 
dence in  my  mission,  for  I  believed  that  Mrs.  Deike 


42  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

had  drawn  him  to  her  religion,  and  would  not  dis- 
close to  me  her  object  in  so  doing.  Yet  I  Avished  to 
see  her,  to  make  her  ashamed  of  herself,  and  to 
have  the  satisfaction  of  denouncing  her  as  one  who 
had  betrayed  the  confidence  of  our  parents. 

It  was  a  long,  lonely  walk  and  my  soul  was  full 
of  hatred.  After  the  weary  journey  when  the 
whitewashed  cottage  again  appeared  in  sight,  hot 
tears  coursed  down  my  cheeks,  and  I  cursed  it  and 
its  inmates.  Though  only  a  child,  I  felt  most  keenly 
the  disgrace  which  had  come  upon  us. 

I  reached  the  house  both  footsore  and  heart  sore. 
I  had  resolved  to  show  no  emotion  in  the  presence 
of  the  family,  but  hardly  had  I  stepped  inside  the 
door  than  I  sank  down  on  a  footstool  near  the  en- 
trance and  began  to  sob  as  though  my  heart  would 
break.  Soon  the  family  gathered  about  me  won- 
dering what  had  brought  me  there  and  inquiring 
the  cause  of  my  distress. 

I  could  not  answer,  but  turned  at  once  to  Mrs. 
Deike,  asking  rapidly,  "What  have  you  done  with 
my  brother?  Why  did  you  steal  him  from  us? 
What  harm  have  my  parents  done  you,  that  you 
have  treated  them  so  unkindly?"  My  well  planned 
speech  was  forgotten  and  I  uttered  words  of  which 
I  had  never  thought  before,  for  my  heart  was  filled 
with  bitterness  and  hatred.    She  seemed  to  under- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  43 

stand  my  thoughts  and  began  at  once  to  speak  of 
the  love  of  Jesus.  I  interrupted  her  by  saying,  "I 
want  to  hear  nothing  about  your  God,  I  did  not 
come  for  that,  but  to  find  out  why  my  brother  has 
become  interested  in  your  God  and  taken  a  fancy  to 
your  religion.''  She  answered,  "It  is  no  fancy  on 
his  part,  but  a  real  faith  in  the  promised  Messiah, 
and  he  had  no  worldy  object  in  view,  but  desired 
only  his  souPs  salvation." 

I  could  not  and  would  not  believe  anything  she 
said  and  felt  that  my  weary  journey  had  been  jn 
vain.  I  had  promised  my  mother  not  to  touch  any- 
thing belonging  to  a  Gentile;  so,  declining  any  re- 
freshments and  the  kind  invitation  to  stay  over 
night,  I  started  on  my  homeward  journey.  They 
had  kindly  offered  to  hitch  up  the  team  and  take 
me  home,  but  I  would  not  accept  any  favors  from 
these  Gentiles,  preferring  to  walk. 

I  was  exceedingly  tired  and  hardly  able  to  walk, 
but  my  will  was  so  strong  that  I  would  not  listen 
to  reason.  Hardly  half  a  mile  had  been  traveled 
when  my  strength  gave  out  and  I  sat  down  crying 
bitterly.  Now  I  realized  that  I  had  not  sufficient 
strength  for  that  twelve  mile  walk.  Even  if  I  had, 
it  would  have  been  impossible  to  reach  home  that 
night,  for  it  was  already  late  in  the  afternoon.  I 
was  afraid  to  return  to  the  farm  house,  lest  I  should 


44  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

commit  a  great  sin.  In  my  misery  and  loneliness  I 
sat  there  blaming  and  cursing  my  brother  for  all 
the  trouble  he  had  caused  us. 

Time  passed  rapidly,  the  shadows-  of  night  ap- 
peared, and  my  fear  and  alarm  increased.  What 
was  I  to  do?  In  my  distress  I  prayed  for  help  and 
guidance,  the  first  prayer  in  my  life  that  was  offered 
from  my  heart,  though  from  early  childhood  I  had 
been  taught  prayers  from  the  prayer  book.  Never 
before  had  I  felt  the  need  of  praying  to  God  from 
the  depth  of  my  own  heart.  As  I  lifted  up  my  soul 
and  voice  to  God,  an  unusual  calm  came  over  me, 
and  I  had  the  full  assurance  of  the  great  Jehovah's 
help.  From  that  time  to  the  present  moment  I 
know  that  He  has  been  and  still  is  with  me.  Jesus 
answered  my  cry  for  help  that  day,  although  I  de- 
spised Him  and  did  not  believe  that  He  w^as  the 
Redeemer  of  the  world  and  my  Saviour. 

After  that  prayer,  I  decided  to  go  back  to  Mrs. 
Deike's  and  remain  there  over  night.  When  I 
reached  there,  no  one  said  anything  regarding  my 
brother  or  his  religion.  I  was  invited  to  partake  of 
bread,  eggs  and  milk.  I  refused  all  but  the  milk, 
which  I  drank,  eating  what  remained  of  the  dry 
bread  I  had  brought  for  lunch  on  the  way. 

During  the  evening  we  walked  to  the  summit  of  a 
high  hill.    It  was  a  beautiful,  balmy  summer  even- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  45 

ing,  not  a  sound  was  heard  save  the  rustling  of  the 
wind  through  the  leaves.  Mrs.  Deike  and  her 
daughters  began  to  sing.  Their  voices  blended  beau- 
tifully, and  never  shall  I  forget  the  impression  of 
that  night,  and  the  holy  awe  that  stole  over  me, 
when  they  sang,  "The  Home  Over  There." 

At  last  I  interrupted  them  to  ask,  "What  do  you 
expect  over  there?  Do  you  expect  to  go  to  Abra- 
ham's bosom?" 

Mrs.  Deike  promptly  answered,  "Indeed,  we  are 
going  there  to  meet  our  blessed  Jesus." 

"There  will  be  no  Jesus  there,"  I  said,  "neither 
can  you  go  there,  for  no  Gentile  has  any  claim  or 
right  to  be  with  Abraham,  Isaac  or  Jacob.  Only  the 
Jews  will  have  a  place  prepared  for  them." 

She  kept  perfectly  calm,  but  insisted  that  both 
Jew  and  Gentile  who  believed  in  the  Son  of  God 
should  meet  where  Abraham,  Isaac  and  Jacob  are. 

"But  God  has  no  Son,"  I  declared.  "All  who 
worship  Jesus  are  idolaters  and  have  no  conception 
of  the  great  Jehovah,  the  God  of  the  Jews." 

She  assured  me  that  Christians  did  not  worship 
idols,  but  I  called  her  attention  to  the  many  images 
and  shrines  I  had  passed  that  very  day.  I  had  seen 
men  remove  their  caps  and  make  the  sign  of  the 
cross,  and  had  noticed  women  gliding  on  to  their 
knees  before  the  images. 


46  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

"All  that  you  tell  me  is  a  fact,"  she  said,  "but 
such  religion  is  not  true  Christianity.'' 

Until  late  at  night  we  continued  our  argument, 
I  trying  to  convince  her  that  only  the  Jews  had 
the  true  religion,  and  that  they  alone  were  true  wor- 
shippers of  the  great  Jehovah.  But  my  arguments 
grew  weaker.  She  seemed  to  have  the  stronger 
side. 

Before  we  retired  for  the  night,  Mrs.  Deike  read 
a  chapter  from  the  Bible  and  offered  prayer  in 
which  she  included  me.  I  cannot  describe  my  sen- 
sations at  the  mention  of  my  name  before  the 
throne  of  grace,  but  I  know  that  a  new  feeling  came 
over  me,  a  longing  for  something  which  I  did  not 
possess.  I  could  not  sleep.  My  thoughts  were  of 
my  brother,  and  the  new  things  I  had  heard  that 
evening.  Sometimes  I  felt  that  I  must  leave  the 
house  at  once  in  the  stillness  of  the  night  and  go 
home,  but  my  fear  of  the  dark,  dense  forest  kept  me 
where  I  was.  Toward  morning  I  fell  into  a  restless 
sleep,  and  it  was  late  when  I  awoke. 

Before  leaving  the  room  I  repeated  my  Jewish 
prayer  in  all  sincerity,  and  resolved  not  to  listen 
to  Mrs.  Deike  if  she  should  speak  again  about  Chris- 
tianity. As  I  was  about  to  open  the  door  I  heard 
a  voice  speaking.  At  the  mention  of  my  own  name 
I  stopped  to  listen ;  Mrs.  Deike  was  praying,  "Heav- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  47 

enly  Father,  have  mercy  on  the  child,  show  her 
that  Thou  lovest  her,  help  her  to  accept  Jesus  as  her 
friend  and  Saviour." 

When  I  heard  these  words  I  became  very  angry. 
Without  delay  I  opened  the  door  and  said,  "Don^t 
mention  my  name  to  your  Jesus.  I  will  have  noth- 
ing to  do  with  Him.''  No  one  answered;  I  then 
left  the  room  greatly  annoyed  with  myself  for  thus 
giving  away  to  temper.  I  stood  at  the  door  consid- 
ering what  to  do,  and  the  temptation  came  to  me 
to  run  away  without  seeing  any  one,  but  that 
seemed  so  discourteous  that  I  abandoned  the  idea. 
I  was  ashamed  of  my  conduct,  but  did  not  feel  that 
I  ought  to  apologize  as  I  considered  it  my  duty  to 
defend  myself. 

As  I  stood  there  alone  feeling  wretched,  an  arm 
stole  around  me  and  a  gentle  voice  said,  "I  wish  I 
could  lead  you  to  the  fountain  of  life  where  there  is 
peace  and  rest  for  the  weary.''  It  was  Mrs.  Deike, 
and  her  voice  was  so  tender  and  pleading  that  my 
heart  melted.  Still  I  begged  her  never  to  say  an- 
other word  to  me  about  Jesus.  "I  never  can  be- 
lieve as  you  do,"  I  cried.  "We  have  suffered  enough 
already  through  His  name.  It  has  brought  sorrow 
and  shame  to  our  family,  and  we  have  lost  a  dearly 
beloved    one.      I    cannot   believe    that    the    great 


48  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

Jehovah  will  pardon  such  sin  as  taking  him  from 
us.'' 

She  did  not  answer,  but  urged  me  to  have  some- 
thing to  eat  before  leaving.  The  horses  were  wait- 
ing to  take  me  home. 

As  I  bade  them  "good-bye,"  Mrs.  Deike  put  into 
my  hand  a  New  Testament,  saying:  "Read  it  and 
compare  it  with  the  Old  Testament.''  She  had  been 
so  kind  that  I  could  not  refuse  to  take  the  little 
book;  but  I  knew  that  if  I  took  it  home  and  my 
mother  learned  that  I  had  it  she  would  destroy  it, 
and  I  should  receive  severe  punishment.  I  told  Mrs. 
Deike  of  my  fear,  but  said  that  if  she  could  cover 
it  so  that  no  one  would  recognize  it  I  would  take  it. 
She  then  took  the  cover  from  a  book  of  fables  and 
put  it  on  my  New  Testament. 

My  mother  had  been  very  anxious  about  me. 
When  within  two  miles  of  home  I  sent  the  team 
back,  as  I  could  easily  walk  the  remaining  distance. 
As  soon  as  I  came  in  sight  my  mother  started  out 
to  meet  me.  Her  first  question  was,  "What  did  you 
find  out?"  I  had  learned  nothing  that  could  give 
her  any  satisfaction,  but  told  her  exactly  what  Mrs. 
Deike  had  said.  When  I  mentioned  the  name  of 
Jesus  she  became  so  angry  that  she  boxed  my  ears 
and  ordered  me  to  say  no  more. 

Until  that  time  mother  and  I  had  shared  our 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  49 

mutual  sorrow,  but  now  we  drifted  apart.  My 
brother's  name  was  never  mentioned  between  us.  I 
was  left  much  alone,  and  all  my  spare  time  was 
spent  in  reading  the  New  Testament.  Often  I  took 
it  to  the  banks  of  the  little  sea  and  read  and  pon- 
dered over  its  teachings  and  dreamed. 

I  became  more  and  more  interested  in  the  stories 
I  read  about  Jesus,  and  at  last  I  became  convinced 
that  He  was  the  Son  of  God.  Now  the  struggle  be- 
gan, I  saw  Jesus  in  a  different  light ;  but  to  believe 
in  Him  as  a  Saviour  seemed  almost  impossible. 
How  could  I  change  my  faith?  How  could  I  bring 
disgrace  upon  my  family  and  break  my  mother's 
heart?    "No,  never,"  was  my  resolve. 

Not  long  could  I  resist  the  pleading  of  the  Spirit. 
The  truth  had  crept  into  my  heart,  and  I  had  to 
submit  my  proud,  strong  will  to  the  mercy  of  God. 
The  victory  was  not  won  without  a  fierce  conflict 
and  intense  pain,  but  His  grace  was  sufficient  for 
me.  As  soon  as  I  found  that  Jesus  was  the  One  of 
w^hom  the  Prophets  had  spoken,  the  strife  in  my 
soul  increased.  I  became  restless  and  unhappy,  and 
vainly  endeavored  to  interest  myself  in  other  things. 

Weeks  passed,  but  no  peace  entered  my  soul.  I 
continued  at  school,  but  instead  of  keeping  up  with 
my  classes  I  fell  behind.  My  teachers  complained 
of  my  neglect ;  but,  touched  by  my  distress  and  un- 


50  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

happiness,  they  had  compassion  on  me  and  attrib- 
uted it  to  ill-health.  Such  a  longing  for  peace  and 
rest  took  hold  of  me  that  I  could  no  longer  endure 
it;  and  at  last  I  decided  to  go  to  Mrs.  Deike  for 
help,  and  left  one  morning,  not  daring  to  ask  my 
mother's  permission.  How  different  were  my  feel- 
ings from  those  of  my  first  visit  with  my  brother! 
Then  I  was  full  of  joyful  anticipations ;  now  all  was 
changed,  and  a  dark  cloud  rested  upon  our  family ; 
disgrace  must  be  our  portion  when  the  secret  be- 
came known  that  my  brother  had  become  a  "turn- 
coat," and  now  even  I  was  troubled,  my  conscience 
was  stricken,  and  I  knew  not  what  to  do. 

I  sat  down  on  a  mile-stone.  My  soul  cried  out  in 
agony  to  God  for  help.  While  sitting  there  a  man 
passed,  who,  upon  seeing  my  tears,  inquired  where 
I  came  from  and  whether  I  had  lost  my  way.  I 
was  frightened  and  started  to  run;  but  the  man 
followed,  overtaking  me.  He  repeated  his  ques- 
tions, speaking  kindly  and  offering  me  a  piece  of 
black  bread  from  his  pocket,  thinking  I  was  crying 
from  hunger.  I  took  the  bread,  not  because  I  wanted 
it,  but  for  fear  of  offending  him.  As  soon  as  he 
was  out  of  sight  I  threw  it  away.  When  I  reached 
my  destination  my  friends  were  surprised  to  see 
me,  but  were  very  considerate.  Mrs.  Deike,  instead 
of  asking  questions,  spoke  comforting  words. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  51 

That  evening  which  I  spent  with  them  made  me 
somewhat  happier ;  still,  I  could  not  yet  believe  that 
Jesus  was  the  only  one  who  could  give  peace  to  my 
troubled  soul.  I  feared  to  go  home,  dreading  pun- 
ishment. Mrs.  Deike,  however,  promised  to  ac- 
company me,  and  act  as  mediator  between  my  pa- 
rents and  myself.  Her  kind  intentions,  however, 
when  carried  out  the  next  day  only  made  matters 
worse.  She  was  coldly  received,  my  mother  giving 
her  to  understand  that  future  visits  would  be  un- 
welcome. 

As  soon  as  she  had  taken  her  departure  mother's 
wrath  burst,  forth.  She  took  me  to  task  for  going 
to  that  cursed  woman,  and  asked  me  if  I  also  wanted 
to  become  a  "turncoat."  My  only  answer  was  a  flood 
of  tears.  My  mother,  blinded  by  anger,  seized  a 
piece  of  wood  and  beat  me  unmercifully.  The  pain 
from  one  blow  on  the  elbow  was  so  sharp  that  I  fell 
to  the  floor  crying,  "My  elbow  is  broken."  Mother's 
wrath  subsided  at  once,  and  she  became  greatly 
frightened.  She  raised  me  up  and  carried  me  to  a 
couch  where  she  examined  my  arm,  which  to  her 
joy  she  found  unbroken.  With  tears  streaming 
down  her  cheeks  she  clasped  me  in  her  arms  and 
asked  my  pardon  for  her  cruelty.  As  she  gazed 
upon  me  we  wept  together,  for  I  knew  she  loved  me 


52  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

tenderly  and  only  overcome  by  rage  had  she  so  far 
forgotten  herself. 

When  she  saw  the  marks  upon  my  body  she  said 
it  was  all  my  fault  because  I  had  gone  to  that 
woman  who  had  already  caused  us  so  much  trouble. 
Upon  thinking  it  over  it  seemed  that  we  had  enough 
sorrow  without  my  adding  to  it,  so  I  resolved  to 
throw  away  the  New  Testament  and  never  again 
think  of  Jesus.  While  the  marks  of  the  blows  re- 
mained upon  my  body  I  kept  these  vows.  But  when 
entirely  recovered,  my  thoughts  again  turned  to 
the  Testament  which  I  had  tucked  away  among  old 
books  in  the  garret.  Such  an  intense  longing  came 
over  me  to  know  the  truth,  that  I  forgot  the  cruel 
beating,  ignored  the  promise  exacted  by  my  mother, 
and  determined  to  see  Mrs.  Deike  again. 

Early  the  next  morning  I  quietly  left  the  house. 
When  I  reached  the  forest  great  fear  came  upon  me; 
and,  in  my  anguish,  I  called  on  God  to  help  me  and 
show  me  the  right  way.  I  had  sunk  upon  my  knees 
while  praying,  and  almost  unconsciously  I  had 
prayed  in  the  name  of  Jesus.  As  I  uttered  His 
name,  it  seemed  as  if  a  voice  was  saying  to  me, 
"What  do  you  want  with  Jesus?  He  is  not  your 
God." 

I  arose  from  my  knees,  a  tempest  raging  in  my 
soul.     Everything  seemed  to  be  at  peace  and  rest 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  53 

except  myself.  I  advanced  a  few  steps,  and  again 
fell  on  my  knees  beseeching  the  great  Jehovah  to 
reveal  the  truth  to  me,  whether  or  not  Jesus  was 
His  Son,  the  Messiah  of  the  Jews.  The  voice  with- 
in whispered  again,  "Not  for  you."  I  was  greatly 
discouraged  and  despaired  of  ever  finding  the  truth. 
But  He  who  had  begun  the  work  of  salvation  in  my 
soul  suffered  me  not  to  perish  in  the  darkness,  but 
led  me  out  into  His  marvelous  light.  I  had  turned 
my  face  homeward ;  but,  as  I  reached  the  border  of 
the  woods,  I  knelt  down  once  more,  praying  in  the 
name  of  Jesus  for  forgiveness  of  my  sins.  While 
thus  praying  I  heard  plainly  the  words  of  God, 
"Peace  be  unto  you ;"  and  peace  did  enter  my  poor, 
troubled  heart.  This  "wonderful  peace  coming 
down  from  the  Father  above"  has  ever  since  been 
my  portion.  It  has  been  with  me  in  sorrow,  in 
trouble,  in  temptation,  flowing  as  a  river.  And  in 
every  time  of  weakness  God's  peace  has  been  my 
stay. 

Now  that  I  had  found  Christ,  there  was  no  need 
of  my  going  to  Mrs.  Deike,  so  I  returned  home,  re- 
solved to  tell  of  the  great  joy  and  peace  that  had 
come  to  me;  but  as  I  entered  the  house  and  beheld 
my  mother's  sad,  sorrowing  face  courage  failed  me. 

My  mother  had  not  noticed  my  absence,  and  I 
deferred  telling  her  of  the  great  change  that  had 


54  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

come  to  me,  but  this  change  was  noticed  by  the  en- 
tire family,  in  that  whereas  I  had  been  willful  and 
imperious  I  was  now  kind  and  obedient.  Little  did 
they  suspect  the  true  cause  of  this  condition. 

Several  weeks  passed,  and  I  became  conscious 
that  I  was  denying  my  Lord  and  Master  in  being 
silent  as  to  what  He  had  done  for  me.  Mean- 
w^hile  I  was  corresponding  with  Mrs.  Deike.  In  one 
of  her  letters  she  wrote  of  a  family  from  the  Luth- 
eran Church  who  had  lately  been  converted  and  had 
moved  into  our  town,  and  advised  me  to  become  ac- 
quainted with  them. 

They  were  poor  and  illiterate  and  the  thought  of 
associating  with  them  was  very  repugnant  to  me, 
who  had  been  taught  to  despise  those  whom  we  con- 
sidered in  any  way  our  inferiors.  But,  after  pray- 
ing about  it,  things  appeared  in  a  different  light. 
I  realized  that  my  Saviour  was  their  Saviour,  and 
that  He  was  no  respecter  of  persons. 

Very  soon  I  went  to  visit  this  home.  On  enter- 
ing the  room  I  found  a  number  of  persons  kneeling, 
for  it  was  Sunday  afternoon,  and  they  were  having 
a  little  prayer-meeting.  I  silently  knelt  with  them. 
One  after  another  prayed,  and  when  the  last  one 
had  offered  his  petition  I  also  lifted  up  my  voice  in 
prayer.  The  people,  who  were  friends  from  the 
country  meeting  every  week  with  this  family  for 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  55 

prayer,  were  much  surprised  to  hear  a  strange  voice, 
and  as  we  rose  from  our  knees  one  woman  after 
another  put  their  arms  around  me  saying,  "Though 
we  never  saw  you  before,  we  know  that  you  are  a 
child  of  God,  for  you  speak  the  language  of  Zion, 
therefore  you  must  be  one  of  us.  What  is  your 
name?" 

I  told  them,  and  great  was  their  surprise  when 
they  learned  who  I  was,  for  my  father  w^as  well 
known.  Never  shall  I  forget  the  joy  manifested 
among  those  people.  Again  they  fell  on  their  knees 
and  gave  God  thanks  for  having  found  a  lamb  from 
"the  lost  sheep  of  the  house  of  Israel."  There  was 
not  only  rejoicing  in  heaven,  but  also  on  earth  over 
a  sinner's  repentance. 

I  had  been  seriously  thinking  of  baptism,  being 
convinced  that  to  be  "one"  with  Christ  I  must  obey 
His  command  and  follow  Him  in  baptism.  I  did 
want  to  obey  my  Master,  but  fear  kept  me  back.  At 
last  I  told  my  new-found  friends  of  my  desire. 
They  were  much  rejoiced  to  know  that  I  had  made 
a  full  surrender  to  Christ  and  promised  to  aid  me 
in  the  fulfillment  of  my  desire. 

Their  pastor,  Kev.  Mr.  Domke,  who  lived  eight  or 
ten  German  (or  forty  English)  miles  away,  was 
invited  to  hold  meetings  in  our  town,  and  I  could 
then  meet  him.    But  when  he  came,  it  was  impossi- 


56  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

ble  for  me  to  leave  home  without  arousing  suspicion. 
I  was  much  disappointed  in  not  seeing  him,  and 
earnestly  I  prayed  that  God  would  open  the  way 
for  me  to  meet  this  Christian  pastor.  At  the  last 
moment  the  Lord  answered  my  prayer.  My  mother 
went  out  for  the  afternoon,  not  to  return  before 
evening.  At  once  I  hastened  to  see  Mr.  Domke,  and 
found  him  just  ready  to  leave.  Feeling  that  I  must 
see  him  I  accompanied  him  to  the  station.  Mrs. 
Deike  had  told  him  of  my  conversion  and  he  was 
very  desirous  of  being  helpful  to  me.  The  train 
being  half  an  hour  late  gave  us  the  desired  oppor- 
tunity of  speaking  together  of  my  faith  in  Christ, 
and  making  arrangements  for  my  baptism.  It 
seemed  inadvisable  that  my  public  confession  of 
Christ  should  be  made  at  home,  where  there  would 
be  much  opposition,  so  we  arranged  that  I  should 
go  to  Graudenz,  which  was  about  twelve  miles  from 
my  home,  and  there  I  was  to  be  baptized. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

Several  months  later  in  October  I  found  a  way 
of  leaving  home  for  a  few  days.  I  wrote  both  Mr. 
Domke  and  Mrs.  Deike  that  I  was  ready  to  obey  the 
Lord's  command,  and  November  the  second,  1879, 
was  the  day  appointed  for  my  baptism.  I  ^\as  to 
go  to  the  home  of  Mrs.  Deike,  and  her  daughter 
would  go  with  me  to  meet  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Domke, 
and  together  from  there  we  would  proceed  to  Grau- 
denz.  Wednesday  afternoon,  October  twenty- 
ninth,  I  started  on  my  eventful  journey.  It  w^as  a 
cold  and  foggy  day  and  it  became  very  dark  before 
I  reached  my  destination.  My  heart  trembled 
within  me  as  I  walked  through  the  dark,  lonely 
forest,  but  the  presence  of  God  was  with  me. 

When  the  forest  was  at  last  behind  me  a  fervent 
"Thank  God!"  burst  from  my  lips.  I  could 
scarcely  find  the  way,  but  soon  in  the  distance  I 
saw  the  glimmer  of  lights  and  remembered  a  foot- 
path over  which  I  had  previously  gone,  and  decided 
to  take  it  and  thus  save  considerable  distance.  But 
soon  I  discovered  that  I  had  missed  the  path  and 
walked  into  a  swamp. 

It  was  a  most  dangerous  place,  and  many  had 
perished  there.  I  could  move  neither  forward  nor 
backward,  for  with  every  effort  I  sank  deeper  and 


58  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

deeper.  The  inire  reached  to  my  shoulders  and  it 
seemed  that  every  moment  must  be  my  last. 

In  this  perilous  situation  the  tempter  assailed 
me  with  fierce  doubts  and  hideous  fears,  whisper- 
ing that  this  was  my  deserved  punishment,  because 
of  my  having  forsaken  the  God  of  my  fathers,  and 
I  must  perish  there  alone  in  the  darkness  of  night, 
my  body  not  even  being  recovered  from  the  terrible 
quagmire. 

But  not  long  was  I  in  the  tempter's  power.  I 
grew  calmer,  lifted  my  heart  to  God,  and  com- 
mitted myself  into  his  care.  ^'Not  my  will,  but 
Thine,  O  Lord,"  was  the  burden  of  my  prayer,  and 
it  was  not  His  will  for  me  to  perish  there. 

A  basket  which  I  had  carried  on  my  arm  slipped 
away  from  me.  Mechanically  I  reached  out  for  it, 
and  in  doing  so  my  foot  rested  on  a  stone.  Then 
all  became  a  blank  to  me  for  a  time,  and  the  next 
thing  I  knew  I  was  standing  on  solid  ground  hold- 
ing my  basket.  My  shoes  were  gone,  and  how  I  got 
out  of  the  swamp  will  always  remain  a  mystery, 
but  to  God  I  gratefully  give  all  the  praise. 

Groping  through  the  darkness  I  at  last  reached 
the  home  of  my  friends.  When  I  opened  the  door, 
there  sat  the  whole  family  around  a  bright  fire 
engaged  in  pleasant  conversation.  They  looked  up 
to  welcome  the  newcomer;  there  was  a  startled 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  59 

scream,  and  someone  cried  out,  "A  witch!  A 
witch!"  Although  as  Christians  they  did  not  be- 
lieve in  witchcraft,  the  old  superstition  came  into 
their  minds  as  they  gazed  on  me. 

For  a  few  moments  I  stood  in  the  doorway  won- 
dering what  had  caused  so  much  excitement  in  this 
peaceful  home.  Finally  I  said,  ^'Why,  what  is  the 
trouble?  What  makes  you  stare  at  me  in  this 
way?'' 

At  the  sound  of  my  voice  Mrs.  Deike  came  up  to 
me  and  said,  "Why,  is  it  you,  Jeanette?" 

It  seemed  such  a  strange  question  for  her  to  ask. 
"Of  course  I  am  Jeanette,"  I  said.  "Have  I  so 
greatly  changed  that  you  do  not  recognize  me?" 
Little  did  I  realize  what  a  change  had  taken  place 
in  my  appearance.  My  long  black  hair  was  hang- 
ing in  strings ;  my  face  and  hands  were  black  with 
the  mire  of  the  swamp,  and  altogether  I  was  a 
wretched  looking  object.  No  wonder  they  thought 
me  a  witch. 

I  was  much  exhausted.  My  entire  body  was 
coated  with  the  heavy  black  mud,  and  it  was  sev- 
eral days  before  I  looked  or  felt  like  myself. 

W^hen  I  related  my  experience,  my  friends  mar- 
velled at  the  way  God  had  delivered  me.  We 
realized  His  wonderful  mercy  and  willingness  to 
hear  and  answer  prayer,  as  we  learned  that  only  a 


60  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

week  before  a  man  with  his  horses  and  wagon  was 
lost  in  that  same  swamp. 

On  Friday  Mrs.  Deike's  daughter  Marianna  and 
I  started  for  Graudenz  as  planned,  stopping  for 
the  night  at  Hohenkirch  where  we  were  enter- 
tained in  the  home  of  the  pastor.  In  company  with 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Domke  we  continued  our  journey  on 
Saturday  afternoon.  Members  of  the  church  met 
us  and  took  us  to  their  homes.  I  was  very  shy  and 
bashful,  this  being  the  first  time  I  had  ever  been 
away '  from  home,  and  it  seemed  strange  to  be 
treated  by  perfect  strangers  with  as  much  kindness 
as  though  I  was  their  own  sister. 

In  the  evening  we  attended  the  prayer  meeting. 
How  shall  I  describe  my  feelings  as  for  the  first 
time  I  entered  a  Christian  house  of  worship?  As 
the  people  came  into  the  room,  I  observed  their 
faces.  They  seemed  to  belong  to  a  different  world, 
to  be  real  saints.  Earnestly  I  prayed  that  God 
would  make  me  as  good  as  they  were.  I  learned 
afterwards  not  to  take  Christians  for  my  standard, 
but  to  look  to  Jesus  only. 

The  next  day  was  the  time  set  for  my  baptism. 
Notwithstanding  a  rain  which  had  begun  to  fall, 
many  people  had  come  from  a  distance,  anxious  to 
see  the  Jewish  convert. 

That  was  a  happy  morning.    After  the  service  in 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  61 

the  church  we  had  dinner  at  the  home  of  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Skibitzky  (who  at  the  present  time  are  living 
in  Chicago).  They  had  invited  a  number  of  the 
visiting  friends  for  dinner.  Two  long  tables  were 
prepared;  and,  after  all  had  been  seated,  the  food 
was  brought  in.  Up  to  this  time  I  had  eaten  no 
food  forbidden  by  Jewish  law.  I  had  already  par- 
taken of  the  soup  when  a  great  fat  pork  roast  was 
served.  What  was  I  to  do?  I  feared  to  refuse  it 
lest  they  might  think  I  was  not  really  a  Christian, 
for  the  idea  is  prevalent  among  the  unconverted, 
that  when  a  Jew  becomes  a  Christian  he  must  at 
once  begin  to  eat  pork. 

I  looked  at  my  slice  of  pork,  then  around  at  the 
company,  seeking  for  some  means  of  relief.  It  was 
so  offensive  to  me,  that  I  could  not  touch  it.  When 
I  thought  myself  unobserved  I  picked  it  up  on  my 
fork  and  stealthily  shoved  it  under  my  plate  where 
it  would  not  be  seen  by  the  guests. 

I  fancied  that  no  one  had  noticed  my  action, 
though  some  had  seen  it  but  considerately  re- 
frained from  making  any  comments  on  what  must 
have  appeared  to  them  a  foolish  action. 

At  the  close  of  the  afternoon  service  a  business 
meeting  was  held,  during  which  I  was  called  in  to 
relate  my  Christian  experience.  This  examination 
lasted  about  thirty  minutes,  while  I  was  seated  in 


62  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

a  chair  in  the  center  of  the  room  with  the  members 
of  the  church  standing  around  me. 

It  was  nearly  8  o'clock  when  we  left  the  church 
to  go  to  the  river  where  another  sister  and  myself 
were  to  be  buried  with  Christ  in  baptism.  (She 
has  since  gone  to  be  with  Him  in  glory. ) 

We  had  a  walk  before  us  of  about  three-quarters 
of  a  mile,  and  the  people  moved  so  rapidly  that  my 
friend  and  I  could  not  keep  up  with  them.  A  turn 
into  a  side  street  hid  them  from  our  view,  and  we 
went  on  in  the  darkness,  not  knowing  that  they  had 
changed  their  direction.  Consequently  we  were 
lost  and  did  not  know  which  direction  to  take,  but 
walked  on,  asking  God  to  take  us  to  the  right  place. 

Not  until  the  company  had  reached  the  river  did 
they  discover  our  absence.  Becoming  alarmed, 
several  of  the  brethren  started  in  search  of  us,  and 
at  last  found  us  at  the  other  end  of  the  city. 

We  rapidly  retraced  our  steps  in  the  pouring 
rain.  There  was  no  time  to  lose,  and  the  few  neces- 
sary preparations  were  soon  made  and  I  was  bap- 
tized. 

Keturning  to  the  house  of  worship,  we  celebrated 
the  LfOrd's  Supper.  Thus  ended  the  most  eventful 
day  in  my  life,  a  day  which  I  shall  never  forget. 


CHAPTER  V. 

The  following  day  we  departed  for  our  respec- 
tive homes.  I  was  determined  to  make  a  full  con- 
fession upon  my  arrival,  but,  oh,  how  weak  is  poor 
human  flesh!  I  was  as  great  a  coward  as  when  I 
had  left  home.  I  hoped  that  it  would  be  easier  to 
confess  Christ  before  my  own  people  after  having 
made  a  public  confession. 

The  more  I  thought  about  it,  the  more  firmly  was 
I  convinced  that  confession  of  my  faith  in  Christ 
meant  the  loss  of  home  and  dear  ones  whom  I 
so  passionately  loved,  and  for  the  first  time  I  under- 
stood what  Christ  meant  when  He  said,  "Think  not 
that  I  am  come  to  send  peace  on  earth :  I  come  not 
to  send  peace  but  a  sword."  (Matt.  X:34.)  And 
those  searching  words  in  Matt.  x:37,  "He  that 
loveth  father  and  mother  more  than  me  is  not 
worthy  of  me,"  held  a  new  meaning  for  me. 

For  several  weeks  the  struggle  lasted,  fear,  love 
and  duty  each  striving  for  the  mastery.  Then 
came  an  invitation  from  a  relative  at  Graudenz 
urging  me  to  make  her  a  visit.  This  being  the  city 
where  I  had  made  a  confession  of  my  faith,  this 
invitation  seemed  a  special  providence,  and  espe- 
cially so  as  my  mother  wished  me  to  go  and  said 
that  I  might  stay  several  weeks. 

I  had  vowed  that  as  soon  as  possible  I  would  tell 


64  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

my  parents  what  had  taken  place  and  imagined 
that  it  would  be  easier  to  write  the  news  than  to 
tell  it,  as  a  storm,  if  it  rose,  would  more  quickly 
blow  over  if  I  were  not  at  home. 

The  second  week  in  December  I  left  home  for 
Graudenz,  but  instead  of  going  to  the  residence  of 
my  cousin,  I  went  to  the  home  of  a  Christian  fam- 
ily who  had  promised  to  shelter  me  in  their  home 
if  I  was  driven  from  my  own.  A  lonely  feeling  had 
come  over  me  as  the  train  started  and  I  took  a  last 
look  at  the  faces  of  my  mother  and  sister  who  had 
accompanied  me  to  the  depot.  I  knew  that  never 
more  should  I  return  to  my  home  as  a  beloved 
daughter  and  sister.  Hitherto  I  had  been  sheltered 
in  the  home  nest,  but  henceforth  I  must  be  an  out- 
cast. 

My  friends  received  me  very  kindly,  but  the  first 
few  days  were  very  lonely,  and  in  vain  I  tried  to 
shake  off  oppression,  but  tears  would  often  gather 
in  my  eyes.  Before  I  had  time  to  carry  my  plan  of 
writing  to  my  parents  into  effect,  the  news  that  I 
had  openly  confessed  Christ  reached  our  home 
through  my  father  who  heard  of  it.  At  once  he 
told  mother.  Poor,  heart-broken  mother  then 
told  him  that  my  brother  also  was  a  Christian. 
Father's  wrath  was  kindled,  and  he  declared  that  he 
would  cast  us  off  as  we  were  unworthy  of  parental 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  65 

love.  God's  punishment,  he  said,  would  fall  upon 
my  mother  and  himself  if  they  did  not  curse  us  and 
mourn  over  us  as  they  mourn  for  the  dead.  He  de- 
clared that  mother  should  have  nothing  more  to  do 
with  either  of  us;  but  mother  was  unwilling  to  de- 
nounce her  own  children,  and  determined  that, 
though  it  was  impossible  to  reach  her  boy,  she 
would  rescue  me  from  the  clutches  of  the  heathen 
people. 

As  father  refused  to  aid  her  in  her  efforts,  she 
consulted  her  brother  who  lived  midway  between 
our  home  and  Graudenz,  whom  she  found  as 
anxious  as  herself  to  get  me  away  from  Christian 
influences. 

The  friends  with  whom  I  was  staying  lived  in  a 
flat  on  the  second  floor,  while  the  lower  floor  was 
occupied  by  a  Jewish  family  with  whom  I  was  not 
acquainted,  and  I  did  not  imagine  that  they  had 
taken  any  notice  of  me.  One  night  my  friends  no- 
ticed an  unusual  commotion  down  stairs.  They 
saw  a  number  of  people  entering,  heard  loud  voices 
and  noticed  their  violent  gesticulations.  The  ex- 
citement seemed  great  and  we  became  somewhat 
alarmed.  Great  was  our  wonder  as  to  what  occa- 
sioned so  much  confusion  below,  and  presently  we 
were  surprised  to  hear  a  knock  at  the  door. 


66  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

Upon  the  door  being  opened  a  young  man  entered 
and  asked  to  see  Fraulein  (Miss)  Gedalius. 

My  friends  inquired,  "What  is  wanted  of  her?" 

He  replied,  "Frau  (Mrs.)  Blum,  the  lady  who 
lives  on  the  first  floor,  wishes  to  see  her." 

My  friends  replied,  "Tell  Frau  Blum  that  if  she 
wishes  to  make  our  acquaintance  we  shall  be 
pleased  to  have  her  call  upon  us." 

A  few  minutes  later  came  another  knock  at  the 
door  and  again  I  was  asked  to  go  to  see  another 
lady  who  was  very  anxious  to  meet  me.  The  name 
was  that  of  a  perfect  stranger  to  me,  so  we  told  her 
that  whoever  wished  to  see  me  must  come  to  the 
house. 

In  a  short  time  a  girl  appeared  with  a  note  ad- 
dressed to  me.  Slipping  it  into  my  hand,  she  ran 
away  without  waiting  for  an  answer.  The  note 
informed  me  that  my  mother  had  committed  sui- 
cide and  urged  me  to  go  at  once  to  a  certain  house 
where  I  could  find  her  body. 

Being  convinced  that  all  the  uproar  down  stairs 
concerned  me,  we  did  not  believe  this  statement 
and  decided  that  under  the  circumstances  it  was 
not  best  to  leave  the  house  to  go  to  church,  but 
await  developments.  By  10  o'clock  all  was  quiet 
and  we  congratulated  ourselves  upon  having  out- 
witted   those  who  were    seeking    me,   though    I 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  67 

thought  we  had  not  seen  the  end  of  the  matter  and 
felt  that  some  trouble  for  me  lay  in  the  near  future. 
However,  committing  ourselves  to  the  care  of  God, 
we  slept  peacefully,  trusting  the  promise,  "He  that 
keepeth  thee  will  not  slumber."     (Psalm  cxxi:3.) 

About  9  o'clock  the  next  morning  we  were  again 
disturbed.  Some  one  opened  the  door  (without 
knocking)  and  my  mother  and  three  men  entered. 
I  was  fully  prepared  to  meet  my  mother,  hoping 
she  might  be  friendly,  and  I  went  towards  her  to 
greet  her  with  a  kiss;  but  she  repulsed  me  and,  to 
my  great  surprise,  slapped  me  in  the  face. 

My  friends  demanded,  "Who  are  you,  and  what 
do  you  want?" 

Two  of  the  men  introduced  themselves  as  being 
the  Rabbis  from  the  city  and  the  third  was  my 
uncle  from  Lessen.  The  Rabbis  represented  two 
different  congregations,  the  reformed  Jewish  faith 
and  the  orthodox.  They  were  enemies  on  account 
of  their  different  views,  but  on  this  occasion  they 
had  become  friends.  How  similar  to  Herod  and 
Pilate  were  they  in  thus  uniting  for  persecution! 
"And  the  same  day  Pilate  and  Herod  were  made 
friends  together:  for  before  they  were  at  enmity 
between  themselves."  (Luke  xxiii:12.)  So  I, 
who  was  one  of  His  weakest  followers,  was  to  real- 
ize His  word,  "The  servant  is  not  greater  than  his 


68  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

Lord.  If  they  have  persecuted  Me  they  will  also 
persecute  you."     (John  xv:20.) 

My  uncle  acted  as  spokesman  and  commanded 
me  to  go  with  them  without  further  delay. 

My  friends  interfered,  saying,  ^^We  cannot  con- 
sent to  her  leaving  this  house  when  there  is  such  a 
disturbance,"  but  they  promised  that  I  could  go 
when  everything  was  quiet  if  I  wished.  They 
feared  to  have  me  go  at  that  time  lest  my  people 
should  treat  me  unkindly. 

My  uncle  took  me  into  another  room  and  up- 
braided me  for  my  wickedness.  Then  he  tried  to 
bribe  me,  promising  to  give  me  two  hundred  dol- 
lars if  I  would  then  and  there  openly  deny  my  faith 
in  Christ. 

I  replied,  "Keep  your  money,  uncle.  It  is  impos- 
sible for  me  to  deny  Jesus  Christ,  for  He  is  my 
Saviour  and  the  King  of  the  Jews.  Neither  can  I 
consent  to  make  my  home  with  you." 

When  he  saw  that  I  was  firm  and  that  he  could 
not  change  me  in  my  purpose,  he  left  the  room. 

As  soon  as  my  uncle  left,  my  mother  became  very 
different  in  her  attitude  and  she  seemed  very 
friendly.  Even  the  Kabbis  asked  several  questions 
and  showed  some  interest  in  my  friends. 

Mr.  Domke,  who  had  been  summoned  by  my 
friends,  entered  into  conversation  with  them  on  the 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  69 

subject  of  Christianity,  and  everything  appeared 
as  though  they  were  friendly  and  we  had  no  sus- 
picion of  treason. 

In  about  an  hour  the  door  was  swung  wide  open, 
and  uncle  and  two  policemen  entered  the  room. 
Without  uttering  a  word,  they  seized  me  and 
roughly  dragged  me  down  stairs  by  my  hair  which 
was  hanging  in  braids  down  my  back. 

Mr.  Domke  tried  to  interfere,  insisting  that  I 
ought  not  to  be  subjected  to  such  barbarous  treat- 
ment, but  one  of  the  officers,  almost  knocking  the 
good  man  down,  roughly  answered  that  he  was 
doing  his  duty. 

I  did  not  regain  consciousness  until  we  had 
reached  the  street.  My  slippers  had  fallen  off  and 
I  was  in  my  stocking  feet.  It  was  a  bitter  cold  day, 
there  being  several  inches  of  snow  on  the  ground. 
I  was  very  thinly  clad  and  had  not  even  a  wrap 
about  me.  I  was  led  by  my  uncle  between  the  two 
policemen  to  another  part  of  the  city,  followed  by 
mother,  the  Rabbis,  and  a  great  crowd  which  had 
gathered.  Everyone  wondered  what  crime  I  had 
committed.  Children  on  their  way  home  from 
school  at  noon  followed  throwing  snowballs  at  me. 
The  crowd  were  disappointed  when,  instead  of  en- 
tering the  prison,  we  passed  on  down  the  street  as 
far  as  a  butcher's  shop. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


Uncle  pushed  me  into  a  large  room  which  was 
used  for  a  store.  A  number  followed  us  in,  most 
of  them  being  men.  Only  Jews  were  allowed  to 
remain,  the  others  were  ordered  to  leave.  At  the 
sound  of  so  many  voices  the  lady  of  the  house  came 
running  into  the  store,  inquiring  what  had  caused 
the  uproar.  But  she  did  not  get  a  satisfactory 
answer,  as  some  said  one  thing  and  some  another. 

At  last  uncle  explained  to  her  that  he  had  come 
just  in  time  to  snatch  me  from  the  Gallich  (priest) 
who  wanted  to  baptize  me,  but  he  had  prevented  it 
by  his  timely  arrival.  He  also  told  them  that  the 
Christians  had  persuaded  me  to  believe  in  the  Tole 
(hanged  one)  and  were  holding  up  the  cross  for  me 
to  kiss,  but  that  he  had  kept  me  from  kissing  it. 
"So,"  he  concluded,  "not  much  harm  has  been 
done." 

Then  he  shook  his  fist  in  my  face  and  com- 
manded me  to  confirm  his  statements. 

But  I  declared,  "It  is  false,  not  one  word  of  it  is 
true.  No  one  has  ever  held  up  a  cross  before  me, 
and  I  have  never  kissed  a  cross  and  never  intend 
to  so  do.  Indeed,  since  I  became  a  Christian  I  have 
not  even  seen  one.  I  have  been  baptized;  I  was 
baptized  last  November." 

At  this  my  uncle  became  very  angry  and  the 
people  seemed  about  to  tear  me  into  pieces. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  71 

The  owner  of  the  house  then  came  up  to  me,  and 
looking  me  all  over  said,  "What !  you  little  chick  of 
a  thing!  How  is  it  that  you  cause  so  much  trou- 
ble? Wait;  it  won't  take  me  long  to  drive  the  Tole 
(hanged  one)  out  of  you."  With  that  she  left  the 
room. 

A  few  moments  later  she  came  back  with  a  pot  of 
steaming  hot  coffee,  saying  it  would  burn  out 
.the  Christianity  in  me.  Not  from  any  fear  did  I 
refuse  the  coffee,  but  because  I  did  not  care  for  it. 
At  my  refusal,  in  her  rage  she  threw  the  contents 
of  the  coffee  pot  over  me,  and  there  I  stood  with  my 
head  and  face  dripping  coffee  without  even  a  hand- 
kerchief with  which  to  wipe  it  off. 

When  they  found  that  they  could  not  scare  me 
into  submission,  but  that  I  remained  firm  in  my 
belief  and  unshaken  by  their  threats,  they  adopted 
others  means,  mocking  and  cursing  me,  but  I  was 
happy,  knowing  that  my  Lord  had  been  so  despised 
and  rejoicing  that  I  was  counted  worthy  to  suffer 
reproach  for  His  sake. 

The  people,  seeing  my  indifference  to  all  they 
said,  became  more  angry.  My  uncle's  excuse  for 
me  was,  "She  is  bewitched."  But  one  man  greatly 
enraged  said,  "She  must  die;  if  not,  she  will  lead 
many  astray."  How  prophetic  were  his  words! 
And  yet,  thank  God,  not  one  has  been  led  astray 


72  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

through  me,  but  many  have  been  led  from  the  dark- 
ness of  Judaism  into  the  blessed  light  of  Chris- 
tianity. 

The  poor  man  who  had  advised  killing  me  was  so 
blinded  with  rage  that  he  picked  up  a  long  but- 
cher's knife  and  would  have  thrust  it  into  me,  but 
in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  between  us  stood  my 
mother.  She  told  him  that  he  dare  not  kill  me  for 
I  was  her  daughter,  and  she  warned  him  that  if  he, 
committed  murder  all  the  Jews  would  suffer  ter- 
ribly thereby.  The  cooler  headed  among  them  re- 
alized the  truth  of  her  words,  knowing  that  the  law 
would  interfere  if  his  threats  were  carried  out,  so 
they  put  him  out  of  doors  in  spite  of  all  his  re- 
sistance, though  he  swore,  cursed,  and  acted  as  if 
he  were  insane. 

At  about  4  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  uncle  secured 
a  wagon  filled  with  straw  and  into  this  I  was  put, 
my  mother  and  uncle  taking  seats  beside  me.  As 
we  drove  off  the  woman  who  had  deluged  me  with 
hot  coffee  handed  me  a  shawl,  telling  me  to  put  it 
around  my  shoulders  as  the  weather  was  extremely 
cold,  but  uncle  snatched  it  away  from  me  and 
threw  it  back  to  the  woman,  saying,  "She  cannot 
have  it.  Christianity  must  freeze  out  of  her." 
With  this  he  drove  away.  It  grew  colder  and 
colder.    I  was  nearly  stiff  when  we  reached  uncle's 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  73 

house,  yet  Christianity  was  not  frozen  out  of  my 
heart,  but  the  love  of  Christ  burned  there  clear  and 
bright. 

This  was  my  first  visit  to  my  uncle's  home  and 
his  family  were  all  strangers  to  me.  A  number  of 
people  had  gathered  to  see  the  apostate,  and  stood 
staring  at  me  as  though  I  were  some  rare  animal. 
Before  I  entered  the  house  my  aunt  began  to  utter 
abusive  words,  but  uncle  cautioned  her  to  treat  me 
kindly  as  it  was  only  in  this  way  that  one  like  my- 
self could  be  won  back  to  Judaism. 

My  mother  remained  over  the  Sabbath  and  then 
went  home.  I  begged  her  to  take  me  with  her,  but 
she  was  deaf  to  my  entreaties.  Neither  would 
uncle  have  allowed  me  to  go,  for  he  thought,  as  did 
my  mother,  that  I  would  repent  of  my  folly  more 
quickly  if  I  remained  where  I  was. 

As  soon  as  mother  had  gone,  my  trials  began. 
The  most  prominent  Jews  in  the  city,  together  with 
their  Rabbi,  came  to  see  me,  seeking  to  convince  me 
that  I  had  committed  a  great  sin,  declaring  that 
I  ought  to  repent  in  dust  and  ashes  and  eat  the 
bread  of  affliction  for  a  whole  week,  according  to 
the  Talmudical  law.  They  also  read  from  the  Tal- 
mud the  most  foolish  stories  concerning  Jesus 
Christ. 

My   aunt   was   very   spiteful    towards    me.     It 


74  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

seemed  that  the  sight  of  me  was  sufficient  to  throw 
her  into  a  frenzy.  One  day,  during  my  uncle's  ab- 
sence*, she  found  constant  fault  with  me,  trying  to 
provoke  me  to  anger.  Failing  in  this,  she  insisted 
upon  my  using  the  jargon  language  when  speaking 
to  her  or  her  children.  This  language  was  never 
used  in  our  home  unless  father  and  mother  had 
something  to  say  to  each  other  that  they  did  not 
wish  us  children  to  understand.  Aunt  asked  me  a 
question  in  jargon,  and  I  being  unable  to  speak 
well  in  that  language  answered  in  German,  which 
so  enraged  her  that,  losing  all  control  of  herself, 
she  took  a  hot  spider  from  the  stove  and  struck  me 
with  it.  I  threw  up  my  hands  to  ward  off  the  blow 
from  my  face  and  one  hand  was  badly  burned. 

They  all  watched  me  closely,  fearing  that  I 
might  run  away,  but  I  had  not  even  thought  of  such 
a  thing.  Indeed,  I  was  a  perfect  stranger  in  that 
locality,  and  would  not  know  where  to  go  if  I  had 
left  there.  Several  days  passed  and  uncle  con- 
tinued to  treat  me  with  kindness,  but  the  other 
members  of  his  family  were  as  bitter  as  ever. 

One  bright,  cold  winter  day  uncle  told  one  of 
my  cousins  to  take  me  for  a  walk,  but  to  watch  me 
closely,  permitting  no  one  to  speak  to  me.  This 
cousin,  like  her  mother,  had  been  very  hateful  to 
me.    As  we  walked  along  the  streets,  she  pointed 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  76 

out  several  houses  and  told  me  that  in  them  lived 
some  of  my  brothers  and  sisters,  the  so-called 
"Muckers,"  as  the  Baptists  were  contemptuously 
named.  This  was  of  much  interest  to  me,  and  I 
kept  carefully  in  mind  their  location,  also  the 
names  of  the  people  whom  she  mentioned. 

The  day  following  unusual  preparations  were 
made  as  if  for  a  large  supper.  About  4  o'clock  in 
the  afternoon  some  twenty  people  gathered,  and 
there  was  much  excitement  and  whispering  among 
them.  My  heart  almost  stopped  its  beating  when 
occasionally  I  stole  a  glance  through  the  half-open 
door  separating  me  from  the  company. 

One  of  my  cousins,  a  girl  about  twelve  years  of 
age,  was  my  jailer,  though  much  against  her  will 
She  was  usually  pleasanter  than  her  mother  and 
sisters;  but  this  day,  wishing  to  be  with  the  com- 
pany, she  was  in  bad  humor  and  vented  her  wrath 
on  me,  kicking  me  several  times. 

In  order  to  see  what  was  going  on  and  hear  what 
was  being  said,  she  had  opened  the  door  slightly. 
I  sat  near  the  door  also  and  soon  learned  that  ten 
men  had  been  fasting  all  day  and  had  come  with 
the  others,  determined  to  tear  from  me  my  faith  in 
Christ.  They  cursed  and  swore  in  a  dreadful  man- 
ner.    I  heard  one  man  say,  "She  must  renounce 


76  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

her  faith  in  the  hanged  one  this  very  night,  if  we 
have  to  tear  her  to  pieces  to  make  her  do  so." 

Upon  hearing  these  words  I  was  indeed  troubled. 
I  was  but  a  fifteen-year-old  girl,  and  I  did  not  fear 
for  my  life,  for  I  was  willing  to  die  for  Him  who 
had  died  for  me,  but  I  feared  lest  they  might  wrest 
my  faith  from  me. 

I  cried  to  God  to  be  my  strength  and  helper  in 
this  time  of  need,  and  He  answered  my  prayer  and 
delivered  me  from  the  hands  of  my  persecutors. 
My  cousin  became  so  absorbed  in  watching  and 
listening  that  she  forgot  to  watch  me;  so,  without 
attracting  her  attention,  I  quietly  slipped  out  of 
another  door  into  the  kitchen,  then  out  of  doors  to 
the  street. 

I  remembered  the  nearest  house  to  which  my 
cousin  had  directed  my  attention  and  hastened  to 
reach  it.  Without  hesitation  I  entered  the  hall, 
not  knowing  in  which  rooms  Mrs.  Wenzel  lived. 

I  intended  to  open  the  first  door  that  I  saw,  but 
as  I  laid  my  hand  on  the  knob  there  came  a  sensa- 
tion as  if  some  one  had  knocked  down  my  hand.  I 
could  see  no  one,  but  felt  a  sharp  pain  at  my  wrist. 
For  a  few  moments  I  stood  there  undecided  what 
to  do.  Just  then  a  man  passed  by  and  I  inquired 
of  him  where  Mrs.  Wenzel  lived,  and  he  directed 
me  to  the  rear  of  the  house,  pointing  out  her  room. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  77 

As  soon  as  I  opened  the  door,  the  woman  recog- 
nized in  me  the  Jewish  sister  of  whom  Mr.  Domke 
had  written  to  their  congregation,  commending  me 
to  their  care.  It  seems  that  from  the  time  she  first 
heard  of  me,  this  good  sister  had  been  praying  and 
waiting  for  me,  ready  to  shelter  and  help  in  any 
possible  way  the  persecuted  Jewish  girl. 

When  I  told  her  of  my  experience  in  the  front 
hall,  she  was  surprised  and  said  that  the  hand  of 
God  must  have  prevented  me  from  entering  that 
door,  as  relatives  of  my  mother  lived  in  that  part 
of  the  house.  They  were  bitter  enemies  of  Christ 
and  His  followers,  and  as  she  told  me  I  could  not 
help  thinking  of  that  wonderful  promise  in  the 
thirty-second  Psalm,  "I  will  instruct  thee  and 
teach  thee  in  the  way  which  thou  shalt  go.  I  will 
guide  thee  with  mine  eye." 

It  would  not  be  safe  for  me  to  stay  in  that  house, 
so  at  once  the  sister  took  me  to  another  friend. 
Upon  entering  there,  we  were  told  that  a  Jewish 
man  had  already  been  there  seeking  me,  and  that 
they  feared  every  Baptist  family  in  the  place  would 
be  visited  by  the  Jews,  and  that  it  would  be  dan- 
gerous for  me  to  remain  in  town.  I  was  put  into  a 
dark  room  and  concealed  under  some  clothes. 
Then  all  the  Baptist  families  living  in  town  were 
called  together. 


78  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

In  great  haste  they  answered  the  summons.  It 
was  decided  that  I  must  leave  the  place  that  very 
night.  Four  miles  out  in  the  country  lived  a  gar- 
dener who  was  of  the  same  faith,  and  a  brother 
volunteered  to  take  me  out  there.  He  had  been 
working  hard  all  day  and  was  very  tired,  but  this 
was  the  Lord's  business,  and  he  had  cheerfully 
offered  to  go. 

It  was  half  past  eight  when  we  started.  The 
night  was  extremely  cold  and  the  ground  was  cov- 
ered with  snow.  My  clothes  were  thin  and  I  wore 
a  pair  of  slippers  similar  to  ordinary  bath  room 
slippers.  I  had  taken  nothing  extra  with  me  when 
hastily  leaving  my  uncle's  house.  None  of  the 
people  present  possessed  two  pairs  of  shoes,  but 
one  sister  took  off  her  shoes  and  gave  them  to  me, 
and  I  was  provided  with  necessary  clothing.  The 
shoes  were  so  large  I  could  hardly  keep  them  on 
my  feet,  and  some  one  suggested  stuffing  them 
with  straw,  which  proved  a  great  comfort  as  I  tra- 
velled over  the  rough  roads  and  through  the  deep 
snow. 

One  friend  contributed  a  coat,  and  another  a 
shawl  for  a  head  covering.  When  we  were  ready  to 
go  they  committed  us  to  the  care  of  our  Heavenly 
Father.  Not  daring  to  go  through  the  streets  we 
climbed  over  fences  and  hedges  until  we  reached 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  79 

the  country  road.  We  had  gone  only  a  short  dis- 
tance when  the  brother  stopped  and  said,  "I  am 
afraid  we  are  followed ;  we  must  not  go  farther  on 
this  road."  There  being  no  other  travelled  high- 
way, we  had  to  cross  the  fields,  which  was  both 
difficult  and  dangerous.  Often  we  sank  to  our  arm 
pits  in  the  deep  snow.  We  reached  our  destination 
some  time  after  midnight  to  find  everything  en- 
shrouded in  darkness.  The  brother  rapped  on  the 
window  and  succeeded  in  arousing  the  inmates. 
Upon  hearing  what  was  wanted  they  very  gladly 
took  us  in.  A  hot  lunch  was  quickly  prepared  for 
the  brother  and  after  resting  for  a  short  time,  bur- 
dened with  the  shoes  and  extra  clothing  which  I 
had  worn,  he  started  on  his  return  journey  as  it 
was  necessary  for  him  to  be  at  his  work  early  the 
next  morning. 

I  was  so  completely  exhausted  that  I  could  nei- 
ther eat  nor  sleep. 

When  the  Jews  discovered  that  I  had  escaped, 
they  vowed  vengeance  and  began  a  vigorous  search 
for  me,  dividing  themselves  into  three  parties,  one 
party  going  to  the  homes  of  the  Christians  asking 
all  sorts  of  questions,  while  the  other  two  parties 
stationed  themselves  at  the  two  roads  leading  out 
of  the  town. 

My  uncle  with  two  other  men  visited  the  home  of 


80  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

the  friend  who  had  taken  me  to  the  country.  My 
uncle  demanded  of  the  lady,  ^^Where  is  your  hus- 
band?" 

She  said,  ^What  do  you  want  of  him?" 

He  answered,  "I  want  to  hire  him  to  cut  wood 
for  me." 

While  talking,  his  eyes  wandered  around  the 
room  as  if  in  search  of  something.  He  noticed  a 
large  bed  with  the  curtains  closely  drawn.  All  at 
once  he  saw  the  curtains  move,  and  he  was  sure 
that  he  had  found  my  hiding  place.  With  one 
bound  he  reached  the  bed,  crying  out,  "I  have  her  I 
I  have  her!" 

The  woman  was  greatly  frightened  and 
screamed,  "Murder!  Murder!"  believing  that  the 
fierce  man  intended  to  kill  her  sleeping  boy  whom 
he  had  dragged  from  the  bed.  The  cries  of  the 
woman  brought  a  number  of  people  into  the  room, 
and  my  uncle,  seeing  his  mistake,  hurried  off  with 
his  two  friends  as  fast  as  he  could  go. 

Those  watching  the  roads  had  met  with  no  better 
success.  After  vainly  searching  the  Christian 
homes,  uncle  and  his  two  companions  joined  the 
others,  and  they  all  agreed  that  I  was  not  in  the 
town  and  must  have  started  for  Graudenz.  They 
thought  that  by  following  at  once  they  might  over- 
take me  before  I  had  gotten  very  far  on  the  way. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  81 

My  uncle,  two  cousins  of  mother's  and  two  other 
men  walked  all  night  and  reached  Graudenz  at 
daybreak,  going  at  once  to  the  home  of  my  friends 
and  informing  them  that  I  had  run  away  during 
the  night  without  any  clothing,  had  perished  on 
the  way  and  that  they  had  found  my  frozen  body. 

My  friends  said  nothing  to  those  who  brought 
the  information,  but  when  alone  they  marvelled 
over  it.  The  night  before  in  their  prayer  meeting 
they  prayed  earnestly  that  no  injury  might  befall 
me.  At  midnight  they  had  the  assurance  that  not  a 
hair  of  my  head  should  be  harmed.  That  evening 
my  friends  summoned  the  few  Christians  to  meet 
again  for  prayer,  telling  them  the  sad  news  brought 
by  my  uncle.  Every  heart  was  full  of  grief,  and  it 
seemed  that  their  faith  would  be  shaken,  for  they 
had  been  so  confident  that  God  had  heard  and  an- 
swered their  prayers.  They  knelt  in  prayer,  and 
strong  men  wept  as  children,  but  faith  triumphed 
and  with  one  accord  they  cried,  "Thy  will,  O  God, 
be  done." 

The  day  following  my  departure  from  my  uncle's 
home  was  very  stormy,  the  wind  blowing  the  snow 
in  great  drifts.  While  it  did  not  appear  possible 
for  any  one  to  venture  out,  it  seemed  very  neces- 
sary that  I  must  go  on  to  some  place  where  the 
Jews  would  not  find  me,  so  about  9  o'clock  in  the 


82  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

morning  Mrs.  Knob  (my  hostess)  and  I  started  out 
seeking  a  place  of  refuge  for  me.  She  had  given  me 
some  clothing,  including  a  pair  of  small,  thin  shoes. 

We  had  a  distance  of  eight  miles  to  cover,  and 
many  times  we  feared  we  should  lose  our  footing 
and  be  blown  down  a  steep  hill.  All  day  we  walked 
on  through  the  storm,  towards  evening  reaching 
a  farm  house  situated  in  a  lonely  part  of  the  coun- 
try, far  from  any  neighbors.  The  kind  sister 
trusted  that  this  place  would  afford  a  safe  retreat, 
where  I  might  be  secure  from  danger  and  persecu- 
tion, for  a  time  at  least. 

I  can  never  forget  that  terrible  journey.  We 
were  both  exhausted,  and  our  hands  and  feet  frost 
bitten.  For  many  months  I  suffered  from  that 
day's  exposure. 

The  farmer  and  his  wife  (who  was  a  sister  of 
Mrs.  Deike)  were  true  Christians,  and  we  were 
warmly  welcomed  to  their  home.  Because  of  the 
weather  continuing  cold  and  the  drifts  of  snow 
making  the  roads  impassable  Mrs.  Knob  remained 
about  a  week,  while  I  was  made  welcome  to  stay 
as  long  as  I  needed  a  place  of  refuge. 

For  four  weeks  I  was  undisturbed,  but  one  day 
a  Jewish  peddler  appeared  at  the  door  selling  his 
wares.  We  had  felt  so  secure  that  I  had  not 
thought  it  necessary  to  hide  myself  at  any  time, 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  83 

and  was  busy  in  the  kitchen  when  the  man  en- 
tered. 

At  once  he  recognized  in  me  the  Jewish  apostate, 
and  I  was  no  longer  safe  in  that  home.  Previous  to 
this  I  had  notified  the  friends  in  Graudenz  of  my 
escape  from  my  uncle,  and  they  had  written  me 
that  if  I  again  needed  a  place  to  return  to  them. 
Under  the  present  circumstances  that  was  the  only 
course  to  pursue,  as  no  other  way  seemed  open  for 
me.  Saturday  was  the  day  chosen  for  my  return, 
as  on  that  day  there  would  be  no  danger  of  meet- 
ing any  of  my  relatives  on  the  train ;  for  as  Ortho- 
dox Jews  none  of  them  ever  travelled  on  the  Sab- 
bath day. 

Fortunately  on  the  train  I  met  the  minister  who 
was  to  preach  in  Graudenz  on  the  following  day.  I 
was  very  glad  to  see  him,  for  I  felt  more  secure  in 
his  company.  At  one  station  we  had  to  wait  two 
hours  to  make  connections.  A  number  of  people 
came  into  the  depot,  and  among  them  I  recognized 
a  Jew  whom  I  had  seen  in  the  butcher^s  shop  at 
Graudenz.  When  I  called  the  minister's  attention 
to  the  man  he  became  somewhat  alarmed  and  at 
once  threw  his  overcoat  on  the  seat  completely  hid- 
ing me  from  view.  Thus  I  escaped  notice.  Pres- 
ently the  train  arrived  and  we  resumed  our  journey. 
At  five  o'clock  in  the  evening  we  reached  Graudenz, 


84  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

and  were  greeted  by  some  of  the  church  people  who 
had  come  to  welcome  the  minister.  Again  I  was  in- 
vited to  the  home  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Skibitzky.  At 
the  station  we  thought  we  heard  one  man  say  to 
another  that  he  believed  he  had  caught  a  glimpse 
of  the  apostate.  Mr.  Skibitzky  overhearing  the  re- 
mark addressed  me  in  rather  a  loud  voice  as 
"Aunt,"  and  threw  a  large  shawl  over  my  head  as  if 
to  bundle  up  an  old  lady  to  protect  her  from  the 
cold.  His  ruse  was  successful,  and  I  escaped  recog- 
nition for  the  time.  Ere  long  it  was  rumored  that 
I  was  in  the  town  and  I  did  not  dare  stay  long  in 
any  one  house.  Thus  for  six  weeks  I  kept  in  hiding, 
going  from  one  place  to  another,  being  concealed 
in  the  different  Christian  homes. 


CHAPTER    VI. 

The  law  requires  from  each  person  leaving  their 
place  of  residence  a  certificate  from  the  magis- 
trate, which  must  be  deposited  in  the  place  to 
which  the  person  moves;  and  no  one  is  allowed 
to  remain  in  any  city  longer  than  twenty-four  hours 
without  having  registered  at  the  police  station.  All 
minors  are  required  to  have  written  permission 
from  their  parents  or  guardian  duly  signed  by 
the  magistrate,  before  they  are  permitted  to  leave 
home.  As  I  had  not  permission  from  my  parents 
or  a  certificate  from  the  officer,  I  could  not  stay 
long  in  any  place,  and  was  obliged  to  leave  Grau- 
denz  at  once. 

How  earnestly  we  prayed  that  God  would  make 
the  way  plain!  A  friend  from  a  distant  city  came 
to  visit  the  family  where  I  was  staying,  and  when 
he  learned  of  my  sad  situation,  he  suggested  that 
I  might  go  home  with  him  and  remain  with  his 
family  as  long  as  left  undisturbed  by  the  police. 
It  was  January  when  I  went  to  Danzig.  These 
friends  were  poor,  having  scarcely  enough  for  them- 
selves, and  I  felt  that  I  must  not  be  a  burden  upon 
them. 

In  the  church  there  was  a  wealthy  widow,  who 


86  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

upon  hearing  of  my  need,  offered  me  a  home  with 
her.  I  most  gladly  accepted,  anticipating  happy 
days  of  service  in  that  beautiful  home.  My  friends 
all  rejoiced  with  me  over  my  pleasant  prospects, 
and  I  went  to  that  beautiful  home  with  a  heart 
full  of  thanksgiving  to  God.  While  waiting  in  the 
parlor,  my  thoughts  went  back  to  my  happy  child- 
hood home;  and  after  wandering  from  place  to 
place,  the  thoughts  of  rest  and  happiness  in  this 
home  cheered  me. 

When  the  lady  appeared  she  informed  me  that 
she  never  received  servants  in  the  parlor  and  that 
the  side  door  was  the  entrance  to  the  kitchen.  She 
then  explained  that  I  would  be  required  to  do  the 
work  of  the  chambermaid  and  cook,  who  had  lately 
been  discharged,  and  endeavored  to  impress  clearly 
upon  my  mind  what  a  favor  she  was  bestowing 
upon  me  in  giving  me  my  board  and  lodging  and 
the  munificent  sum  of  a  dollar  a  month,  for  doing 
the  work  of  two  ordinary  hired  girls. 

I  was  very  ignorant  about  housework,  never  hav- 
ing been  required  to  do  any,  but  I  asked  God  to 
help  me  learn,  and  tried  to  do  my  best. 

It  was  a  hard,  trying  winter,  but  the  dear  Lord 
gave  me  strength  and  courage.  I  had  been  there 
scarcely  two  months  when  a  summons  came  to  ap- 
pear at  police  quarters.    There  I  was  informed  that 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  87 

within  thirteen  days  I  must  either  show  my  certifi- 
cate of  residence  or  leave  the  city.  I  wondered 
what  would  become  of  me.  I  saw  that  I  must  leave 
Danzig  and  return  to  Graudenz,  but  how  long  could 
I  remain  there?  God,  in  whom  I  trusted,  did  not 
forsake  me.  I  returned  to  my  old  friends,  who 
welcomed  me  with  the  news  that  I  could  secure  ser- 
vice with  a  family  who  were  about  to  move  into  the 
country.  Although  not  familiar  with  farm  life,  I 
readily  accepted  the  position,  for  I  was  willing  to 
learn.  Many  and  varied  were  my  experiences, 
much  of  the  work  being  very  distasteful  to  me,  but 
the  dear  Lord,  for  whose  sake  I  had  willingly  given 
up  all  things,  strengthened  me  for  each  day's  duties. 

My  path  was  thorny  indeed.  The  people  were 
not  as  kind  as  I  had  anticipated,  and  many  times 
I  went  to  bed  hungry,  after  eating  the  one  thin 
slice  of  bread  which  constituted  my  supper. 

I  had  few  clothes,  as  most  of  my  clothing  was 
taken  from  me  when  my  mother  recovered  me  from 
my  friends.  My  shoes  were  the  oldest  I  had  pos- 
sessed, and  had  been  mended  by  a  cobbler,  who,  in 
adding  the  new  caps  and  soles  had  shortened  them 
so  that  I  was  able  to  wear  them  only  on  Sundays, 
and  was  obliged  to  go  bare  foot  the  remainder  of 
the  week.     Great  was  my  suffering  from  walking 


88  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


on  the  stony  ground;  and  if  I  cried,  some  of  the 
people  laughed  at  me,  while  others  scolded. 

One  day  I  met  with  a  severe  accident.  We  had 
a  large  wash,  I  had  been  at  work  since  2  o'clock 
in  the  morning,  and  we  had  the  clothes  on  the  line. 
The  lady  of  the  house  sent  me  to  see  if  the  clothes 
were  all  right.  I  was  so  very  tired  that  I  could 
scarcely  move,  but  I  was  told  not  to  waste  any 
time.  While  hurrying  along,  my  heel  struck  a 
sharp  piece  of  glass,  which  cut  a  deep  gash.  I  drew 
out  the  glass  and  then  lost  consciousness.  I  do 
not  know  how  long  I  lay  there,  but  soon  I  was 
missed,  and  the  old  grandmother  was  sent  to  find 
me.  When  she  saw  me  lying  there  white  and  un- 
conscious, she  seized  a  pail  of  the  rinse  water  and 
threw  it  over  me.  This  had  the  desired  effect,  and 
consciousness  returned,  but  my  foot  was  badly 
injured.  They  allowed  me  to  rest  for  a  few  hours, 
but  urged  me  to  begin  work  again  while  I  was  yet 
scarcely  able  to  stand  upon  my  foot. 

Thus,  with  many  hardships,  time  wore  on.  One 
day,  as  the  men  were  busy  in  the  hay  field,  I  was 
sent  with  one  man  to  clean  out  the  well.  We 
worked  hard  all  the  forenoon,  and  I  was  nearly 
exhausted  when  we  heard  the  sound  of  wagon 
wheels.  I  looked  up  to  see  who  was  coming,  and 
whom  should  I  see  but  mv  mother  and  several 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 


Jewish  men!  I  immediately  dropped  the  pail 
which  I  had  been  using,  and  telling  the  man  that 
my  folks  had  come,  I  ran  into  the  house.  We 
could  think  of  no  hiding  place  except  the  dairy  cel- 
lar, and  as  we  were  afraid  the  cellar  might  be 
searched  they  placed  a  barrel  over  me.  For  some 
time  I  heard  angry  words  overhead,  then  came  the 
sound  of  footsteps  on  the  stairs,  and  my  mother 
and  two  men  were  in  the  cellar  searching  wherever 
it  seemed  possible  for  me  to  be  concealed,  the  men 
declaring  that  I  must  be  somewhere  in  the  house, 
as  a  peddler  had  lately  visited  the  farm  and  had 
informed  them  of  my  whereabouts. 

Mother  vowed  that  she  would  not  leave  the 
place  until  she  had  found  me,  but  their  search 
proved  unsuccessful.  My  mother  stood  outside  the 
door  and  began  to  lament  the  fate  of  her  poor  de- 
luded child.  As  I  listened  to  her  pleadings  I  was 
tempted  to  reveal  myself  to  her.  But  fear  for  my 
fate  and  trust  in  Jesus  Christ  kept  me  where  I  was. 

They  remained  until  evening,  then  left,  vowing 
vengeance  on  the  Christians  for  keeping  me  a  pris- 
oner, declaring  that  I  was  being  held  against  my 
will.  Late  at  night  I  came  forth  from  my  hiding 
place,  completely  exhausted  from  the  hard  labor 
and  severe  mental  strain. 

Several  months  passed  in  constant  fear  of  dis- 


90  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

covery,  rumors  reaching  us  that  the  Jews  were  still 
searching  for  me.  I  knew  not  what  to  do;  I  had 
no  place  to  go;  but  commiting  all  into  the  care 
of  my  heavenly  Father  and  trusting  that  He  would 
still  provide  a  shelter  for  me,  I  prayed  and  waited. 

In  the  fall  I  received  a  letter  from  my  brother 
urging  me  to  come  to  him,  for  he  had  found  a  place 
for  me,  where  I  could  make  my  home  and  finish  my 
education.  I  was  delighted,  and  looked  forward 
with  great  hopes  to  the  future.  What  joy  to  think 
that  at  last  I  should  be  near  my  Christian  brother 
and  have  a  happy  home ! 

My  preparations  were  soon  made,  and  early  in 
October  I  started  on  a  long  journey,  my  brother 
having  sent  the  money  for  my  traveling  expenses. 
After  a  journey  of  a  day  and  a  night  I  reached  my 
destination,  finding  my  brother  at  the  train  to 
meet  me,  and  great  was  our  joy,  when  for  the  first 
time  we  greeted  each  other  as  Christians.  He  sym- 
pathized with  me,  as  I  told  him  of  my  past  trials, 
and  encouraged  me  to  hope  that  all  my  sorrows 
were  at  an  end.  As  long  as  I  was  a  minor,  I  could 
find  a  home  with  these  friends,  and  after  becom- 
ing of  age  I  need  fear  no  one. 

Poor  brother!  Had  he  known  the  character  of 
this  home,  he  would  not  have  sent  me  there  for 
even  one  day.    They  were  professed  Christians,  but 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  91 


in  their  treatment  of  me  they  were  worse  than 
heathen.  The  family  consisted  of  father,  mother 
and  six  children,  and  it  was  indeed  a  hard  place  to 
work.  No  servants  would  stay  with  this  woman 
any  length  of  time,  because  of  her  ill  treatment  of 
them. 

I  was  treated  with  great  kindness  as  long  as  my 
brother  remained  and  for  a  few  days  after  his  de- 
parture. Then  the  attitude  of  the  woman  changed. 
She  required  me  to  do  work  for  which  1  had  neither 
the  strength  nor  the  ability,  and  when  I  sometimes 
sank  under  the  heavy  burdens,  she  was  not  slow  to 
strike  me. 

One  evening  she  told  me  that  I  must  get  up  the 
next  morning  at  3  o^clock  and  begin  a  large  wash- 
ing. I  told  her  that  it  would  be  impossible  for  me 
to  do  so  much.  She  became  very  angry,  telling 
me  that  it  was  for  her  to  command  and  for  me  to 
obey,  since  I  was  her  servant,  and  that  I  ought  to 
be  very  grateful  for  the  home  she  was  giving  me. 
She  knew  that  I  was  in  her  power,  as  I  had  nowhere 
to  go.  My  brother  was  unable  to  help  me,  since 
he  was  only  a  salesman  with  no  money  to  spare. 

At  half  past  two  the  next  morning  I  began  the 
washing,  and  when  Mrs.  T.  arose  in  the  morning  it 
was  half  done,  but  she  expected  me  to  have  finished 


92  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

it  by  9  o'clock.  So,  instead  of  giving  me  breakfast, 
she  gave  me  a  severe  scolding. 

I  had  to  leave  the  washing  and  get  the  children 
ready  for  school.  After  I  had  eaten  a  small  roll 
and  taken  a  cup  of  coffee  I  resumed  my  task.  Long 
before  it  was  done  I  became  very  hungry  and,  tak- 
ing a  roll  which  had  been  left  from  breakfast,  I  be- 
gan to  eat  it.  Just  then  Mrs.  T.  appeared  and, 
losing  her  temper,  accused  me  of  stealing  the  bread, 
insisting  that  I  had  no  right  to  take  anything 
without  her  permission. 

After  the  clothes  were  washed  I  had  to  put  them 
into  baskets  which  were  fastened  to  a  wooden  yoke 
resting  on  my  shoulders,  and  in  that  manner  carry 
them  to  the  canal  (a  distance  of  two  miles  from 
the  house)  to  be  rinsed.  Many  times  that  winter 
I  was  obliged  to  cut  through  the  ice  in  order  to 
rinse  the  clothes. 

On  one  occasion  I  begged  Mrs.  T.  to  allow  me  to 
rinse  the  clothes  in  the  house,  for  it  was  so  icy 
without  that  I  was  afraid  I  might  slip  and  fall. 
She  would  not  listen  to  me,  but  ordered  me  to  go 
at  once  to  my  work  and  do  it  as  it  ought  to  be 
done.  I  flatly  refused  to  obey  her.  My  protests 
were  all  in  vain.  Becoming  violently  enraged,  she 
struck  me  twice  and  ordered  me  to  do  my  work  in- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  98 

stantly  or  she  would  turn  me  out  into  the  cold, 
away  from  the  shelter  of  her  home. 

No  other  alternative  was  left  to  me,  so  I  lifted 
the  weighty  load  upon  my  shoulders  and  went  to 
the  stream.  In  the  heavy  wooden  slippers  which 
I  wore  it  was  very  difficult  to  walk  and  several 
times  I  fell ;  the  baskets  were  overturned  and  some 
pieces  of  the  clean  clothes  were  badly  soiled.  I 
tried  to  wash  them  over  in  the  icy  water,  but  they 
froze  to  my  fingers  and  in  the  attempt  to  pull  them 
away  pieces  of  skin  came  with  them. 

When  I  returned  Mrs.  T.  examined  the  clothes, 
and  finding  some  soiled  pieces,  she  put  them  once 
more  into  the  basket  and  sent  me  back  to  wash 
them  again.  I  obeyed,  though  both  hands  and 
clothes 'were  too  stiff  to  wash  the  dirt  out  thor- 
oughly, but  I  did  the  best  I  could,  and  returned 
to  the  house. 

Many  were  the  hardships  I  endured  in  that  place. 
One  Sunday  I  asked  if  I  might  go  to  church.  The 
Baptists  had  a  little  church  in  Retz,  a  town  eight 
miles  away,  where  services  were  held  twice  a 
month.  Permission  was  given  me  to  go,  providing 
all  my  work  was  finished  before  I  started.  Satur- 
day night  I  worked  until  twelve  o'clock,  and  early 
Sunday  morning  I  resumed  my  labors.  By  eight 
o'clock  all  was  in  order,  and  I  was  ready  to  go. 


94  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

The  morning  was  clear  and  cold,  and  my  heart 
was  light  and  joyful.  Although  I  had  to  walk  to 
and  from  church,  yet  I  rejoiced,  full  of  gladness 
and  happy  in  Jesus,  and  praised  Him  for  the  op- 
portunity of  once  more  hearing  His  Word.  Oh, 
how  I  enjoyed  the  sermon  that  day!  The  pastor 
invited  me  to  his  home  for  dinner,  and  kindly  urged 
me  to  stay  with  them  over  night,  but  I  dared  not, 
for  Mrs.  T.  expected  me  home  that  night.  On  my 
return  jojirney  I  began  to  suffer  with  my  feet,  as  I 
was  still  wearing  the  small  shoes.  I  had  started 
for  home  at  two  o'clock,  but  the  darkening  shadows 
of  night  began  to  fall  before  I  had  covered  half 
the  distance.  At  last  I  could  walk  no  farther,  and 
sat  down  on  a  stone,  shivering  with  the  cold,  not 
a  soul  in  sight,  and  a  deep  sense  of  desolation 
creeping  over  me.  The  poor  little  birds,  overcome 
by  the  intense  cold,  fell  dead  at  my  feet.  Even  the 
blood  in  my  veins  seemed  to  be  freezing,  and  soon 
my  whole  body  felt  heavy,  and  I  could  scarcely 
move.  In  my  despair  I  cried  to  God  to  help  me,  or 
at  once  take  me  to  Himself. 

Hardly  had  the  words  passed  my  lips  when  I 
heard  the  sound  of  an  approaching  team.  I  had 
no  strength  to  call  for  help,  so  held  up  my  hand- 
kerchief as  a  signal  of  distress,  though  all  was  dark 
and  I  could  not  see  who  was  coming.    After  a  few 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  95 

minutes  I  felt  some  one  shaking  me,  and  heard 
some  one  ask  "  Who  are  you?  What  are  you  doing 
here?    Where  do  you  want  to  go?  " 

With  great  difficulty  I  answered  his  questions. 
He  then  led  me  to  a  wagon  where  two  other  men 
were  seated.  One  of  the  men  said :  "  If  we  take 
her  home  she  ought  to  pay  the  toll." 

I  said :  "I  would  gladly  do  so  had  I  the  money, 
but  I  have  none.  If  you  can  not  take  me  home 
without  my  paying  the  toll,  I  must  remain  here  and 
perish  from  the  cold." 

The  men  had  compassion  on  me,  and  made  room 
for  me  in  the  wagon,  and  finally  I  reache<l  home. 
For  several  days  I  was  very  sick,  but  ere  long  I 
was  set  at  my  accustomed  duties.  One  of  the  hard- 
est tasks  I  had  to  perform  was  the  milking  of  a 
goat,  which  always  refused  to  give  me  the  milk. 
Many  times  was  I  thrown  down  by  her  jumping 
over  my  head.  I  did  not  know  how  to  milk  a  goat, 
particularly  that  unruly  one.  Mrs.  T.  told  me  to 
give  it  something  good  to  eat  and  coax  it,  and 
then  it  would  become  gentle. 

With  tears  dropping  on  the  goat's  head,  I  begged 
it  to  give  me  the  milk,  calling  it  the  nicest  names 
I  knew,  and  giving  it  the  best  kind  of  food ;  but  all 
my  efforts  were  in  vain.  Mrs.  T.  was  forced  to  per- 
form the  duty  herself,  all  the  while  scolding  me, 


96  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

saying :  *'  You  are  good  for  nothing  and  do  not 
earn  even  the  food  you  eat."  One  day  she  was  not 
feeling  well  and  was  exceedingly  hard  to  x^^^^J^se 
and  again  she  sent  me  to  do  the  milking.  The 
goat  kept  jumping  along  the  wall  as  far  as  its 
chain  would  permit,  and  would  not  allow  me  to  get 
near  it,  so  I  went  into  the  house  and  told  Mrs.  T. 

She  ordered  me  to  go  back  at  once  and  get  the 
milking  done,  saying :  "  It  is  only  your  obstinacy 
that  is  the  trouble.  You  could  milk  that  goat  if 
you  wished.  It  stands  for  me  when  I  milk  it."  She 
was  so  abusive  that,  in  despair,  I  returned  to  the 
stable  and  again  pleaded  with  the  goat,  "  Do  please 
stand  still  and  let  me  milk  you." 

The  woman  had  advised  pleasant  words  and, 
although  I  hated  to  talk  so  to  a  goat,  I  begged  it 
to  be  good  and  stand  still. 

The  animal  was  so  obstinate  that  finally,  not 
knowing  what  else  to  do,  I  took  a  stick  which  was 
lying  near  and  struck  it  across  the  back.  It  then 
stood  quietly  and  I  was  able  to  take  two  quarts  of 
milk  to  the  house. 

Mrs.  T.  showed  her  approval  by  saying :  ^^  I  told 
you  so.  It  was  all  your  own  fault  that  the  goat 
would  not  stand ;  if  you  had  only  treated  it  kindly 
long  ago  there  would  have  been  no  trouble." 

I  did  not  tell  her  how  I  had  become  victorious. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  97 

The  next  morning  she  said:  "Now  be  sure  to 
treat  the  goat  nicely."  When  I  opened  the  stable 
door  it  was  to  find  the  goat  lying  motionless  on  its 
bed  of  straw.    It  had  died  during  the  night. 

Mrs.  T.  was  very  angry  when  she  heard  of  the 
death  of  her  pet ;  of  course,  she  blamed  me,  and  had 
she  known  that  I  had  struck  it,  her  anger  would 
have  been  terrible  and  beyond  control. 

The  life  at  this  place  became  unbearable  and  fin- 
ally I  wrote  to  Mrs.  Deike,  telling  her  of  my  trou- 
bles. She,  in  answer,  wrote  back  to  me :  "  Trust  in 
God,  and  come  to  me  as  soon  as  you  can." 


CHAPTER    VII. 

As  time  wore  on  I  wrote  to  my  brother  about  re- 
turning to  Mrs.  Deike's  Iiouse,  whicli  was  so  near 
our  old  home,  whereupon  he  wrote  to  Mrs.  T.  to 
give  me  my  traveling  expenses  to  return  to  my 
friends,  as  he  could  not  afford  to  send  me  any 
money.  She  gave  me  about  half  enough  for  the 
journey,  but  since  I  had  friends  living  at  Bromberg 
I  finally  decided  to  go  there.  A  friend  of  my 
brother  accompanied  me  to  the  train,  and  upon 
learning  that  I  had  not  sufficient  money,  he  kindly 
supplied  the  rest. 

For  a  short  time  I  stayed  with  these  friends,  en- 
joying a  delightful  visit,  though  confined  to  the 
house  most  of  the  time  on  account  of  my  feet, 
which  were  much  crippled  from  those  small  shoes. 
So  bad  did  they  become  that  I  lost  the  nails  from 
some  of  the  toes.  One  day  I  did  attempt  to  go  out 
calling  with  my  friend,  but  the  pain  in  my  feet  was 
so  intense  that  I  fainted  on  the  street. 

From  Bromberg  I  went  on  to  Mrs.  Deike's.  Hav- 
ing so  little  money,  even  for  postage,  I  had  not  noti- 
fied them  of  the  time  of  my  arrival,  consequently 
there  was  no  one  at  the  train  to  meet  me,  and  I 
was  forced  to  walk  the  eight  miles.  I  had  dis- 
carded the  shoes  and  wore  only  a  pair  of  house  slip- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  99 

pers.  It  was  a  very  cold  day  and  my  suffering  was 
great;  but  late  in  the  evening  I  reached  the  farm 
house.  I  w^as  unable  to  w^alk  for  several  days,  dur- 
ing w  hich  a  severe  snow  storm  raged  and  it  was  im- 
possible to  send  for  my  baggage.  Finally,  after 
the  storm  had  ceased,  the  youngest  daughter  and 
myself  drove  to  the  station,  got  the  baggage  and 
started  for  home. 

The  weather  had  changed  since  we  left  home; 
it  had  become  much  colder,  dark  clouds  gathered, 
and  a  storm  was  fast  approaching.  The  horses 
made  but  little  progress,  owing  to  the  icy,  hilly 
road.  When  Mariana's  hands  became  so  numb  that 
she  could  not  drive  I  took  the  reins,  but  soon  I,  too, 
was  unable  to  hold  them,  and  the  horses,  freed  from 
a  controlling  hand,  turned  off  into  a  ditch.  Only 
one  step  more  and  we  would  have  been  dashed  to 
pieces ;  but  the  everwatchf ul,  all-seeing  Father  pre- 
served His  children  in  this  hour  of  danger.  Mari- 
ana had  partially  lost  consciousness,  but  my  cry  of 
distress  roused  her,  and  by  our  united  efforts  the 
horses  were  again  turned  into  the  road.  We  did 
not  know  where  we  were,  and  could  not  guide  the 
horses,  but  trusted  the  Lord  to  bring  us  home  in 
safety.  Ere  long  in  the  distance  we  saw  a  light 
and  urged  the  horses  on,  for  it  seemed  that  our 
strength  could  not  last  much  longer,  and  oh,  how 


100  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

thankful  we  were  when  we  reached  the  shelter  of 
home!  The  friends  had  been  greatly  alarmed  at 
our  long  absence,  and  it  was  a  happy  family  that 
knelt  that  evening  to  give  thanks  to  God  for  His 
goodness  to  us. 

I  stayed  for  several  weeks  with  these  kind 
friends,  but  it  was  too  near  my  old  home  for  me 
to  remain  in  safety  for  any  length  of  time,  and 
now  again  the  question  faced  me :  "  Where  can  I 
go  next?"  I  had  no  credentials  or  references, 
neither  had  I  permission  from  my  parents  to  as- 
sist me  in  getting  a  position. 

In  this  time  of  need  I  leaned  upon  God  and  His 
promises  and  He  did  not  fail  me  then,  nor  has  He 
ever  failed  me  since;  for  His  promise  stands  fast, 
"  I  will  never  leave  thee  nor  forsake  thee."  ( Heb. 
xiii,  5.) 

About  this  time  Mrs.  Deike  made  a  visit  to  her 
brother,  who  lived  on  a  large  farm  about  twenty- 
five  miles  away,  with  no  near  neighbors.  Upon  her 
return  she  told  me  that  her  brother  would  be  will- 
ing to  have  me  stay  there,  providing  I  would  work 
as  a  farm  hand.  I  accepted  the  situation,  since 
there  seemed  nothing  else  for  me  to  do,  and  in  a  few 
days  I  began  work  there.  They  were  Lutherans 
and  somewhat  opposed  to  the  Baptist  denomina- 
tion, but  on  the  whole,  they  were  very  kind  and 


DRIVEN'iMq^^^^^.  101 


promised  to  do  the  best  they  could  by  me.  To  this 
country  home  little  of  the  outside  world  came,  no 
newspapers  ever  reached  their  house,  and  no  mail 
carrier  ever  knocked  at  the  door. 

The  first  thing  I  had  to  learn  was  to  walk  in  the 
clumsy  wooden  slippers  which  Mr.  C.  made  for  each 
member  of  the  family.  The  next  thing  was  to 
learn  how  to  spin.  During  the  long  winter  even- 
ings the  women  and  girls  spun  the  wool  for  their 
own  winter  stockings,  all  going  barefoot  in  the 
summer.  I  had  never  seen  any  one  spin  and  was 
so  awkward  that  I  became  the  laughing  stock  of  all. 
The  fact  of  the  matter  is,  that  I  never  did  learn 
to  spin  well,  though  I  really  tried  very  hard,  and 
finally  succeeded  in  spinning  enough  for  two  pairs 
of  stockings  for  myself;  but  the  yarn  was  so  hard 
and  uneven  that  they  were  thick  and  clumsy  and 
caused  me  much  suffering  in  the  wearing  of  them. 
While  learning  I  complained  once,  and  was  told: 
"  Oh,  the  Jew  is  still  hanging  about  you  and  the 
sooner  you  get  rid  of  it  the  better  it  will  be  for 
you."  The  work  was  new  to  me  and  I  made  many 
blunders  and  often  overheard  the  remark :  "  Oh, 
Jews  are  no  good  at  work;  they  prefer  to  live  on 
other  people's  work."  I  could  only  pray  for  wis- 
dom and  patience  and  keep  on  trying  to  learn. 

We  rose  early  in  the  morning,  and  before  break- 


102  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

fast  I  had  to  milk  seven  cows,  feed  the  pigs  and  look 
after  the  poultry.  During  the  winter  the  family, 
including  the  hired  help,  numbered  fifteen  per- 
sons; while  in  the  spring  and  summer  there  were 
twenty-two.  All  the  cooking  for  this  large  house- 
hold was  my  work,  also  the  preparation  of  food  for 
the  stock  on  the  farm.  Every  day  in  the  week  the 
same  work  was  to  be  done,  and  from  four  o'clock 
in  the  morning  until  after  ten  at  night  my  hands 
were  never  idle. 

I  was  obliged  to  do  the  work  of  spreading  the 
fertilizer  on  the  ground,  picking  up  stones,  and 
other  heavy  work  in  the  field. 

When  Easter  came,  great  preparations  were  made 
for  the  three  days  holidays.  On  such  occasions,  all 
but  the  most  necessary  work  was  laid  aside,  every- 
thing is  made  nice  and  clean,  all  the  scrubbing  of 
floors  and  such  work  being  my  portion.  Many  times 
I  bruised  my  fingers — the  result  of  which  was  a 
felon  on  my  right  hand,  but  during  this  busy  season 
I  had  no  time  to  nurse  it. 

Day  and  night  I  suffered.  Little  sympathy  was 
given  me,  and  after  sleepless  nights  I  did  the  work 
as  best  I  could.  Finally  my  hand  became  so  stiff 
and  black  that  a  physician  was  called,  who  advised 
amputating  the  hand  at  once.  I  refused,  and  then 
he  insisted  on  taking  off  the  finger;  and,  though 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  103 

every  one  said  I  was  stupid  and  willful,  I  refused  to 
permit  it,  putting  my  trust  in  God. 

He  answered  my  prayer  in  a  way  far  different 
from  what  I  had  expected.  About  two  weeks  later  I 
was  in  the  kitchen  peeling  potatoes  with  my  left 
hand,  when  there  came  a  knock  at  the  door.  The  new 
comer  proved  to  be  a  Jewish  peddler.  I  endeavored 
to  appear  unconcerned,  and  at  the  first  opportunity 
left  the  room;  but  he  had  recognized  in  me  the 
fugitive.  Two  days  later,  in  the  afternoon  a  wagon 
containing  several  persons  drove  into  the  yard.  At 
the  sound  of  wheels  I  hurried  in  from  the  field 
where  I  had  been  picking  up  stones.  Imagine  my 
dismay  when  my  mother  alighted  and  came  toward 
the  house. 

I  was  frightened,  but  there  was  no  chance  to  hide. 
She  ordered  me  to  get  ready  and  go  home  with  her, 
and  I  was  obliged  to  obey ;  for  well  I  knew  that  re- 
sistance would  be  useless. 

Late  that  evening  we  reached  home.  Not  a  word 
had  my  mother  spoken  to  me  during  the  long  jour- 
ney, and  now  I  was  sent  to  my  room  without  seeing 
any  other  member  of  the  family,  my  mother  se- 
curely fastening  the  door  of  my  room. 

The  next  morning  she  brought  me  my  breakfast, 
telling  me  that  I  could  not  leave  the  room  until  I 
had  repented  of  my  foolishness  and  cursed  the 


104  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

Christian  religion.  Slie  examined  my  hand  which 
she  had  now  for  the  first  time  noticed.  At  the  sight 
she  nearly  fainted,  but  immediately  set  about  doing 
something  to  relieve  it.  Fortunately  it  proved  to 
be  the  wisest  thing  that  could  be  done.  Every  time 
she  dressed  it  she  would  attribute  the  affliction  to 
the  Christian  religion  and  declare  the  curse  of  God 
rested  upon  me. 

The  supposed  curse  was  soon  removed,  as  my  hand 
was  entirely  healed.  After  I  had  been  at  home  a 
week,  the  Jewish  people  began  to  visit  me,  among 
them  the  Rabbi,  who  came  once  and  sometimes  twice 
a  day.  He  would  not  argue  with  me  from  the  Bible, 
but  only  from  the  Talmud,  constantly  endeavoring 
to  weaken  my  faith  in  Christ. 

The  Jews  of  the  community  at  first  believed  that  I 
had  become  a  Christian  in  order  to  get  riches.  Now 
when  they  learned  that  such  was  not  the  case,  their 
disgust  was  great.  For  several  weeks  they  sought 
to  win  me  back  to  the  Jewish  religion,  and  many 
times  I  grew  faint  and  weary,  but  Christ  with  His 
loving  arms  around  me  kept  me  during  those  days 
of  trial.  I  had  no  Bible,  no  book  to  read,  and  was 
kept  a  prisoner,  even  the  windows  being  nailed  on 
the  outside  to  prevent  any  possibility  of  escape. 

I  had  been  there  six  weeks  or  more  before  I  saw 
my  father.    I  dreaded  to  see  him  for  fear  that  he 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  105 

would  seek  to  wrench  my  faith  away  from  me. 
Whenever  I  heard  a  footstep  I  trembled  lest  he 
might  come  in  anger,  but  weeks  passed  by  and  he 
did  not  appear. 

The  Jews  advised  mother  to  take  other  means 
than  kindness  in  her  efforts  to  bring  me  to  reason. 
Poor  blinded  mother !  She  loved  me  so  dearly  that 
she  would  have  given  her  heart's  blood  to  save  me, 
and  yet  she  treated  me  with  the  greatest  unkind- 
ness,  every  stroke  she  gave  me  hurting  her  more 
than  it  did  me;  but  she  thought  she  was  serving 
God  by  thus  punishing  me  in  order  to  bring  me 
back  to  the  fold  if  possible. 

The  Rabbi  became  very  insulting,  and  told  mother 
that  I  deserved  to  be  thrown  into  the  street  and 
left  there  to  die  like  a  dog.  Suddenly  his  visits 
ceased,  and  I  was  left  in  peace  for  several  weeks. 
Then  came  the  interview  which  I  had  so  long 
dreaded. 

One  afternoon  I  was  sitting  by  the  closed  window, 
looking  up  at  the  sky,  lost  in  thought,  when  the  door 
was  quietly  opened  and  there  stood  my  father.  He 
was  so  changed;  never  before  had  I  seen  such  a 
look  of  tenderness  on  my  father's  face.  For  a  few 
moments  he  stood  without  uttering  a  word,  then  he 
said: 

"Have  you  no  word  of  greeting?    Are  you  not 


106  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

glad  to  see  your  father?  Have  the  Christians  so 
poisoned  your  mind,  or  have  they  wrung  the  Jewish 
heart  from  you,  my  poor  child?" 

As  I  listened  to  his  kind  and  loving  words  and 
beheld  his  careworn  face  and  flowing,  white  hair, 
my  heart  was  almost  broken.  He  opened  his  shel- 
tering arms  and  clasped  me  to  his  heart  and  spoke 
to  me  so  gently,  calling  me  the  endearing  names  a 
loving  father  gives  to  his  child,  that  my  courage 
seemed  about  to  leave  me.  I  forgot  all  I  had 
planned  to  say,  and  let  him  hold  me  without  saying 
a  word,  or  trying  to  make  any  explanations ;  for  I 
was  again  as  a  little  child  in  my  father's  arms. 

By  and  by  he  loosened  his  hold,  and  said,  "My 
daughter,  what  have  you  gained  by  forsaking  the 
God  of  your  fathers?  Have  you  gained  anything?" 
I  was  unable  to  answer  him  a  word. 

Seeing  that  I  did  not  reply,  he  began  to  plead 
with  me  to  repent  of  my  folly  and  renounce  Jesus. 
But  that  was  the  one  thing  utterly  impossible  for  me 
to  do.  How  could  I  curse  Jesus,  who  had  saved 
me  and  forgiven  all  my  sins,  who  loved  me  more 
than  all  earthly  friends? 

Again  my  father  placed  his  hands  on  my  shoul- 
ders while  tears  rolled  down  his  pale  cheeks,  falling 
on  my  hands.  With  trembling  voice  he  implored, 
"Come  back,  my  child,  to  your  father's  house,  to  the 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  107 

God  of  your  father  and  mother.  Outside,  you  have 
no  friends.  No  one  can  love  and  care  for  you  as  do 
your  parents.  Why  will  you  be  a  stranger  and  an 
outcast  when  you  may  have  love  and  shelter?" 

As  my  father  spoke  thus,  it  seemed  almost  as  if 
the  price  was  too  great  for  me  to  pay.  It  seemed 
that  I  must  give  up  my  faith  in  Christ  and  reject 
Him  then  and  there.  A  fierce  battle  was  waged  that 
day;  and,  for  a  time,  it  seemed  as  if  earthly  love 
would  conquer  and  that  I  would  give  up  my  Sav- 
iour. But  at  the  most  critical  moment  Christ's 
promise,  "I  will  never  leave  thee  nor  forsake  thee," 
came  to  me  as  never  before. 

I  seemed  to  hear  Him  say,  "He  that  loveth  father 
or  mother  more  than  Me  is  not  worthy  of  Me.'' 
(Matt.  x:37.)  The  struggle  ceased,  peace  entered 
my  soul,  and  I  spoke  the  words  which  I  had  been 
unable  to  utter  before  this. 

I  begged  my  father  to  let  me  believe  in  Jesus,  as 
He  was  the  only  one  on  whom  we  could  rely,  and 
because  He  was  the  One  of  whom  Moses  and  the 
prophets  testified.  My  words  fell  on  unheeding 
ears,  for  my  father  would  not  listen,  but  becoming 
very  angry  he  declared  that  I  must  then  and  there 
renounce  Christianity  or  answer  with  my  life. 

"I  w^ould  rather  give  up  my  life  than  my  Christ," 
was  my  answer. 


108  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

What  a  transformation  was  wrought  in  his  ap- 
pearance! He  now  stood  before  me  filled  with 
wrath  and  ready  to  strike  his  defenseless  child.  In 
all  my  life  I  had  not  seen  my  father  so  angry,  but 
he  left  the  room  with  only  these  words:  "Never 
again  shall  you  call  me  ^father/  and  never  more 
shall  you  see  me."  And  I  never  did  see  my  father's 
face  again  until  the  pallor  of  death  was  upon  it. 
Then  he  was  white  and  motionless  in  his  coffin,  un- 
able either  to  bless  or  to  curse  his  child. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

After  my  father  left  me,  my  mother  entered  the 
room,  her  face  as  white  as  a  sheet,  wringing  her 
hands  in  agony,  weeping  as  though  her  heart  would 
break.  Oh,  how  I  longed  to  comfort  her,  but  she 
would  not  suffer  me  to  even  approach  her  or  to  talk 
with  her.  My  faith  was  sorely  tried,  but  I  earnestly 
prayed  that  God  would  give  me  wisdom  and  cour- 
age bravely  to  bear  those  trials  which  for  His  sake 
I  was  enduring. 

The  Rabbi  called  a  few  days  later;  and  upon 
learning  that  even  my  father's  entreaties  were  un- 
availing, he  advised  my  mother  to  drive  me  from 
the  house  at  once,  lest  the  wrath  of  God  should 
descend  upon  her  household. 

The  curses  uttered  by  the  Rabbi  greatly  alarmed 
my  mother,  and  she  again  came  to  my  room  and 
urged  me  to  give  up  my  faith  in  the  "hanged  one." 
I  told  her  that  I  could  not  do  so,  and  then  she  lost 
control  of  herself. 

The  afternoon  had  been  a  trying  one  for  her,  and 
it  was  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  she  had  become 
so  excited.  Not  only  had  the  Rabbi  been  to  see  her, 
but  many  other  Jews  had  come  with  their  advice. 
Even  some  of  the  so-called  Christians  called  to  ridi- 
cule and  condemn  me.  So,  upon  hearing  my  refusal 
she  knocked  me  down,  my  head  striking  the  door 


110  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

post,  and  I  fell  unconscious  to  the  floor.  I  do  not 
know  how  long  I  remained  in  that  condition,  but 
when  I  recovered  mother  entered  the  room  and 
thrust  me  out  of  the  house  into  the  street.  There 
were  no  kind  words  of  farewell,  no  loving  embrace, 
no  one  to  say  "God  bless  you,"  as  I  took  my  depart- 
ure from  the  home  of  my  childhood. 

No  one  but  God  knew  the  loneliness  and  the  utter 
desolation  of  my  heart.  My  cry  Avas  unto  Him  not 
to  leave  or  forsake  His  child.  Just  as  He  always 
does.  He  heard  and  answered  in  this  time  of  great- 
est need,  for  His  love  and  faithfulness  can  never 
fail. 

As  I  faced  the  future  that  evening  how  dark  it 
looked!  My  head  was  aching  from  the  fall,  and  I 
thought  my  right  eye  badly  injured,  for  I  was  unable 
to  open  it.  I  had  only  ten  cents  in  money  and  knew 
not  where  to  go. 

The  friends  who  had  given  me  shelter  before  lived 
many  miles  away,  and  I  could  not  tell  what  direc- 
tion to  take  in  order  to  reach  their  homes.  I  knew 
of  no  one  in  the  town  who  would  give  me  shelter  for 
even  a  single  night,  for  at  that  time  the  Baptists 
were  hated  by  Catholics  and  Lutherans  as  well  as 
Jews. 

In  my  homeless  condition,  thinking  sad,  sad 
thoughts,  I  walked  toward  the  depot,  having  no 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  111 

plan  in  mind  as  to  where  I  should  go.  As  I  reached 
the  station  a  train  arrived ;  then  not  knowing  what 
else  to  do,  I  bought  a  ticket  for  the  next  station, 
using  my  last  money. 

As  I  sat  in  the  car,  I  remembered  hearing  that 
somewhere  in  that  vicinity  there  lived  a  Baptist 
family,  the  head  of  which  was  a  shepherd  on  a  large 
estate  (the  same  family  is  now  living  in  Cleve- 
land, Ohio).  I  could  recall  the  name  of  the  estate, 
but  did  not  know  the  distance  nor  in  what  direction 
it  lay  from  the  station.  Soon  the  train  stopped,  and 
I  stepped  out  on  the  platform.  Hopelessly  I  looked 
around  for  some  one  to  direct  me  where  to  go ;  but 
no  one  was  in  sight.  The  sun  was  setting  and  I  had 
^  not  the  slightest  idea  where  to  lay  my  weary,  throb- 
bing head  that  night.  It  seemed  that  my  resting 
place  must  be  the  dark  lonely  woods. 

I  sat  down  on  a  stone  by  the  roadside  and 
watched  and  waited  for  some  one  to  pass.  I  cried 
to  Him  who  in  other  times  of  perplexity  had  made 
the  way  plain  for  His  child.  I  must  have  waited  there 
nearly  half  an  hour  when  there  came  the  sound  of 
approaching  wheels.  It  was  a  carriage  whose  sole 
occupant  was  a  lady.  The  coachman  seeing  me 
stopped,  and  I  inquired  of  him  the  direction  of  the 
place  I  was  seeking,  and  also  the  distance.  "Two 
(eight  English)   miles,"  was  the  reply,  while  he 


112  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

pointed  towards  a  dense  forest  as  the  direction  in 
which  it  lay. 

The  driver,  seeing  disappointment  in  my  face, 
added,  "You  certainly  don't  mean  to  go  there  to- 
night?" 

The  lady  at  the  sound  of  our  voices  opened  the 
carriage  door,  and  inquired  what  the  trouble  was, 
and  the  coachman  told  her  that  I  had  lost  my  way 
and  did  not  know  where  to  go. 

Before  I  could  make  any  explanation,  the  lady, 
moved  with  compassion,  invited  me  to  step  inside 
the  carriage  and  told  the  coachman  to  drive  on.  As 
we  rode  along  in  the  twilight,  she  asked  me  many 
questions.  I  told  her  where  my  home  was,  but  said 
nothing  of  the  persecutions,  or  of  having  been 
driven  from  home.  But  I  did  tell  her  about 
Jesus,  my  best  friend. 

She  became  greatly  interested  and  was  very  anx- 
ious to  hear  about  the  dear  Saviour.  Before  we 
parted,  she  said  that  she,  too,  wanted  to  love  Jesus, 
and  made  me  promise  to  go  to  the  mansion  belong- 
ing to  the  estate  where  the  shepherd  lived  and  tell 
the  "gracious  lady''  (wife  of  an  owner  of  an  estate 
was  thus  called)  of  the  love  of  Jesus.  I  learned 
later  that  she  had  heard  of  me,  and  had  desired  to 
have  me  come  to  her  home. 

I  was  driven  to  within  a  half  mile  of  my  desti- 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  113 

nation;  the  lady  in  parting  kissed  me  and  slipped 
a  piece  of  money  into  my  hand  and  asked  me  to 
pray  for  her.    This  was  my  first  missionary  work. 

Rejoicing  in  heart  I  soon  reached  the  home  of  the 
shepherd,  where  I  received  a  hearty  welcome. 

The  next  morning  I  called  at  the  home  of  the 
^^Gracious  Lady,"  but  she  had  just  started  on  a 
journey.  The  housekeeper,  who  had  heard  of  me 
through  her  mistress,  was  exceedingly  glad  to  see 
me,  and  sought  to  make  my  stay  a  pleasant  one. 
She  directed  one  of  the  maids  to  show  me  through 
the  grounds  and  gardens.  This  girl  was  a  devout 
Catholic,  and  when  she  learned  that  I  was  a  Jewess, 
and  that  I  now  believed  in  the  Lord  Jesus,  she  be- 
came much  interested,  asking  many  questions  about 
the  Protestant  religion.  After  hearing  the  story  of 
the  love  of  Jesus  and  what  He  had  done  for  me, 
tears  rolled  down  her  cheeks  and  she  promised  to 
seek  Him  with  her  whole  heart.  She  did  so  and 
suffered  much  persecution  at  the  hands  of  the 
priests  and  other  Catholics.  Years  afterwards, 
when  I  had  even  forgotten  her  name,  we  met  in 
Chicago. 

I  remained  with  the  shepherd's  family  two  days ; 
then  decided  to  return  to  the  farm  from  which  my 
mother  had  taken  me.  The  son-in-law  of  the  kind 
shepherd  took  me  to  the  home  of  Mrs.  Deike,  which 


114  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

was  about  half  way  to  the  farm ;  and,  though  it  was 
the  busy  season,  Mrs.  Deike  took  me  the  remainder 
of  my  journey  to  her  brother's  farm,  where  I  re- 
mained for  the  next  two  years,  unmolested  and  free 
from  persecution.  I  shall  therefore  pass  over  those 
two  years  in  silence. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

At  the  expiration  of  two  years  I  decided  to  make 
a  change  and  go  to  live  with  an  old  lady  who  had 
much  trouble  in  keeping  any  one  with  her  for  any 
length  of  time.  The  place  seemed  so  much  more 
desirable  than  my  present  position  that  I  had  no 
hesitancy  about  making  the  change.  But  great  was 
my  disappointment  in  this  new  home. 

This  lady  was  very  suspicious  and  in  constant 
fear  of  being  robbed.  She  was  ever  on  the  watch, 
and  three  or  four  times  each  night  she  would  make 
me  get  up  and  go  to  the  barn  (where  she  kept  a  cow 
and  its  feed)  to  see  if  everything  was  all  right.  No 
matter  how  cold  the  night  might  be,  I  was  obliged 
to  make  these  regular  trips,  going  a  distance  of 
about  thirty  yards. 

At  four  in  the  morning  I  had  to  get  up  to  watch 
while  she  slept.  There  I  had  to  sit  in  that  cold  dark 
room  with  neither  fire  nor  lamp.  I  suffered  much 
from  hunger;  the  food  was  kept  under  lock  and 
key,  and  I  could  have  only  what  little  she  was 
pleased  to  give  me.  The  work  instead  of  being  light 
was  very  heavy.  I  was  kept  busy  all  the  time,  for 
after  I  had  finished  the  work  and  thought  that  I 
might  rest,  then  I  must  take  the  cow  for  a  walk — a 
very  humiliating  task,  as  I  had  to  go  through  the 
village  leading  her  by  a  rope. 


116  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

For  six  montlis  I  endured  this  hard  life  with  its 
many  annoyances ;  but  the  following  spring  I  went 
to  work  for  a  family  where  I  was  sure  I  should  find 
it  much  easier  and  could  get  at  least  enough  to  eat. 

I  had  known  this  family  when  they  lived  in  the 
city  in  a  beautiful  home;  now  they  were  reduced 
to  poverty  and  were  living  on  a  small  farm.  No 
magistrate's  certificate  would  be  required  and  I 
hoped  to  be  safe  there,  but  again  hard  times  were 
before  me.  My  work  was  similar  to  that  on  the 
first  farm,  planting,  haying,  harvesting,  etc.  It  was 
work  from  early  morning  till  late  at  night,  and 
there  was  little  to  eat.  Many  times  a  meal  consisted 
of  a  piece  of  dry  bread  and  water,  or  potatoes  with 
a  sprinkling  of  salt.  What  the  hardships  of  the  life 
on  this  farm  were  it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to 
describe,  but  through  it  all,  God  never  suffered  me 
to  lose  faith  in  Him.  I  knew  He  was  with  me  and 
Jesus  became  more  and  more  precious. 

I  remained  in  this  place  until  I  w^as  nearly  twenty 
years  old,  when  I  was  considered  to  have  reached 
my  majority.  I  had  been  a  Christian  for  nearly  five 
years,  had  been  absent  from  home  most  of  the  time, 
suffering  much,  but  I  had  learned  that  the  "cross 
is  not  greater  than  His  grace.'' 

My  brother  wrote  from  Berlin  advising  me  to 
come  to  him,  as  he  hoped  to  make  life  easier  for  me. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  117 

Now  that  I  was  free  to  go  or  to  do  as  I  pleased  I 
decided  to  go  to  him  in  the  autumn. 

My  few  belongings  were  packed  in  a  blue  and 
white  striped  pillow  case,  and  I  started  on  my  long 
journey,  looking  forward  with  much  joy  to  meeting 
again  that  dear  brother  from  whom  I  had  so  long 
been  separated. 

At  seven  o^clock  in  the  morning  of  a  dreary,  rainy 
day,  I  arrived  in  Berlin.  I  had  expected  my  brother 
to  meet  me,  but  I  did  not  see  him  at  the  station.  As 
I  had  my  brother's  address,  I  inquired  the  way  of 
a  policeman ;  and,  though  it  was  a  long  distance,  I 
had  to  walk,  as  I  had  no  money  for  carfare. 

I  finally  found  the  street  and  number.  It  was  a 
large  double  house,  and  I  did  not  know  how  to  find 
my  brother's  rooms.  I  rang  the  bell  at  several  doors 
and  inquired,  but  no  one  knew  him,  as  he  was  not  a 
regular  tenant,  but  had  furnished  rooms  with  a  fam- 
ily living  in  the  building.  I  was  told  that  unless  I 
knew  the  name  of  the  family  with  whom  he  roomed 
it  would  be  impossible  to  find  him.  At  last  I  be- 
came discouraged,  and  sitting  down  on  the  steps  I 
began  to  cry,  for  I  did  not  know  what  would  become 
of  me  if  I  did  not  find  my  brother. 

Presently  a  door  was  opened  and  a  gentleman 
came  out.  Upon  seeing  me  he  spoke  kindly  and  I 
told  him  my  trouble.    He  was  very  kind  and  invited 


118  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

me  in,  explaining  the  situation  to  his  wife,  who  tried 
to  comfort  me  by  offering  me  a  cup  of  coffee  and  a 
roll ;  but  it  seemed  almost  impossible  for  me  to  eat 
because  I  was  feeling  so  lonely.  The  gentleman 
assured  me  that  he  would  find  my  brother.  While 
he  was  absent,  his  wife  suggested  that  I  take  the 
position  of  nurse  girl  for  her  baby,  which  I  agreed 
to  do. 

Soon  the  gentleman  returned  with  my  brother, 
and  my  heart  bounded  with  joy  at  seeing  him.  At 
first  he  did  not  recognize  me ;  but  looked  around  the 
room  and  asked,  "Where  is  my  sister?" 

I  went  up  to  him  expecting  a  loving  greeting,  but 
he  drew  back  in  astonishment  and  mortification. 
The  people  did  not  seem  to  know  what  to  make  of 
the  strange  situation.  After  a  painful  pause  he 
greeted  me  with  the  words,  "Well,  girl,  how  you  do 
look !  I  can  scarcely  believe  that  you  are  my  sister, 
but  I  see  now  that  you  are.  I  went  to  the  depot  this 
morning  to  meet  you,  but  I  never  dreamed  that  my 
sister  would  present  such  an  appearance." 

The  lady  noticing  his  chagrin  said,  "You  need 
not  be  troubled  about  her ;  she  can  have  a  home  with 
me,  as  I  have  already  engaged  her  as  nurse  for  the 
baby." 

My  brother's  pride  was  touched,  and  I  could  see 
that  he  was  indignant  at  such  a  proposition ;  but  his 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  119 

better  nature  triumphed  and  very  kindly  he  told 
her  that  his  sister  was  not  in  need  of  a  position,  as 
he  was  able  to  care  for  her.  Then  he  thanked  them 
for  their  kindness  to  me. 

It  was  no  wonder  that  my  brother  had  failed  to 
recognize  me,  for  he  had  still  in  mind  the  sister  of 
five  years  before  in  her  dainty  frocks.  He  had  not 
taken  into  consideration  what  four  years  of  priva- 
tion and  hardship  might  mean  to  me.  It  has  been 
truly  said,  "Woman  has  the  heaviest  burden  and 
walks  the  hardest  road,"  and  he  had  not  been  called 
to  bear  the  sufferings  and  persecutions  that  had 
come  to  his  sister.  He  had  engaged  rooms  and 
board  for  me  with  a  refined,  highly  educated  lady, 
whose  drawing  rooms  Avere  the  center  of  culture, 
and  he  naturally  felt  disappointed  in  me. 

After  we  had  reached  his  apartments,  he  could  no 
longer  restrain  his  indignation,  "What  shall  I  do 
with  you?'^  he  said.  "I  cannot  take  you  to  that  lady 
in  your  present  condition." 

I  felt  very  sorry  for  him,  as  I  realized  that  I  was 
unfit  to  be  introduced  to  refined  people,  for  there  I 
stood,  a  rough  country  girl,  without  a  hat,  and  with 
an  old  shawl  tied  about  my  head.  My  clothing  was 
of  the  poorest,  coarsest  kind,  and  my  rough,  red 
hands  were  bare.    It  must  have  been  hard  for  my 


120  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

brother;  for  he  was  well  dressed,  and  extremely 
neat  and  pleasing  in  his  personal  appearance. 

At  last  I  began  to  cry  bitterly,  saying,  "Please 
leave  me  alone  and  don't  look  at  me  in  that  way.  I 
will  go  somewhere  as  a  servant,  and  will  tell  no 
one  that  I  am  your  sister.  I  will  stay  away  until  I 
have  earned  enough  to  dress  up,  and  study  hard,  so 
that  no  one  shall  need  to  be  ashamed  of  me.'' 

By  the  time  I  had  finished,  brotherly  love  had 
triumphed  over  pride ;  he  broke  down  and  there  we 
sat  crying  together.  He  tried  to  console  me  by  say- 
ing over  and  over  again,  "Never  mind,  never  mind, 
little  sister,  I  do  not  need  to  be  ashamed  of  you.  It 
is  not  your  fault  that  you  have  nothing.  I  will  ex- 
plain to  Mrs.  H.  and  she  will  understand."  I  dried 
my  tears  and  made  myself  a  little  more  presentable. 
He  then  admitted  that  my  appearance  was  im- 
proved; but  he  could  not  overcome  his  dislike  for 
those  big  red  hands,  roughened  by  hard  work. 

Finally  we  decided  to  conceal  them  by  getting  a 
pair  of  gloves.  We  went  to  a  store  and  purchased 
an  expensive  pair  of  gloves,  but  alas !  at  the  first  at- 
tempt to  put  them  on,  I  split  them  open.  It  could 
not  be  helped;  so  with  the  torn  gloves  partly  con- 
cealing the  red  hands  we  went  to  meet  Mrs.  H.  I 
saw  that  she  was  disappointed  in  my  appearance; 
she  was  too  much  of  a  lady,  however,  to  make  any 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  121 

comments.  Later  we  grew  to  know  each  other  well, 
for  she  became  my  brother's  wife. 

My  brother  provided  very  liberally  for  me,  and  I 
was  very  happy.  Life  again  seemed  full  of  bright- 
ness and  I  rejoiced  that  the  trials  were  over.  It  was 
in  this  city  that  for  the  first  time  I  became  engaged 
in  church  work.  At  the  time  of  my  conversion  my 
heart  burned  with  love  for  my  own  people,  and  I 
was  willing  to  go  even  in  the  capacity  of  a  nurse  girl 
into  Jewish  families  and  teach  the  little  children 
about  Jesus;  but  the  severe  persecutions  I  had  re- 
ceived at  the  hands  of  those  whom  I  loved  had  ex- 
tinguished those  desires. 

The  church  of  which  I  had  become  a  member  was 
interested  in  foreign  missions,  and  when  I  learned 
of  the  great  need,  my  heart  was  moved  with  love 
for  the  poor  heathen  in  those  benighted  lands.  My 
earnest  desire  and  prayer  was  that  I  might  go  to 
Burmah  as  a  missionary,  but  my  friends  said  that  I 
was  not  qualified  for  service  in  the  foreign  field,  and 
that  God's  work  for  me  was  among  my  own  people ; 
so  I  continued  to  work  in  the  church  and  Sunday- 
School. 

Being  of  an  independent  spirit  I  began  to  feel 
that  I  must  not  depend  upon  my  brother  for  sup- 
port, so  I  began  studies  in  a  business  college,  and 
learned  book-keeping;  in  the  mean  time  changing 


122  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

my  boarding  place  for  one  that  was  much  cheaper. 

I  was  very  busy  during  the  day  with  my  studies ; 
but  when  the  day's  work  was  done  I  always  found 
an  opportunity  to  tell  of  the  love  of  Jesus  to  those 
who  knew  Him  not,  and  the  Lord  wonderfully 
blessed  my  poor  efforts  and  crowned  them  with  suc- 
cess, and  thus  I  learned  what  a  joy  it  is  to  be  a  '^co- 
Avorker  with  God." 

My  life  was  truly  happy,  and  I  looked  forward  to 
the  time  when  I  should  be  able  to  help  supply  some 
of  the  needs  of  the  poor  people  who  had  become  so 
dear  to  me.  When  my  course  was  completed,  I 
proudly  received  my  diploma,  still  with  no  pros- 
pect of  a  position,  as  it  was  not  an  easy  thing  for 
a  young  woman  to  get  a  position,  unless  she  had 
influential  friends,  and  such  I  had  not.  My  brother 
had  been  absent  for  several  months,  my  money  was 
nearly  gone,  and  I  sought  in  vain  for  a  position. 

I  earnestly  prayed  God  to  open  the  way  for  me; 
and  though  it  sometimes  seemed  that  my  request 
was  unheeded,  yet  I  had  learned  by  past  experience 
to  trust  in  Him,  and  believe  that  in  His  own  good 
time  He  would  answer. 


CHAPTER  X. 

One  Sunday  morning  my  heart  was  heavy  as  I 
went  to  the  house  of  God.  All  the  money  I  pos- 
sessed was  about  ten  cents,  and  I  felt  that  I  could 
give  nothing  to  the  church  collection,  for  I  should 
need  that  money  for  food  on  the  morrow. 

In  the  afternoon  the  Young  Women's  Society 
held  a  service.  One  of  our  duties  was  to  visit  the 
sick,  and  the  president  usually  appointed  the  dif- 
ferent visitors,  assigning  a  certain  sick  person  to 
a  member.  One  of  the  oldest  members  of  the  church 
(an  aged  lady)  had  been  an  invalid  for  several 
years.  All  the  other  members  had  been  to  see  her, 
and  I  had  dreaded  the  thought  of  going  because  I 
was  so  poor.  But  on  this  Sunday  I  had  not  given 
the  matter  a  thought,  until  to  my  surprise  and  dis- 
appointment the  president  asked  me  if  I  would  visit 
that  sick  lady  during  the  week.  I  had  not  the  cour- 
age to  refuse,  though  I  knew  that  I  must  go  to  her 
empty  handed,  and  the  visitor  usually  took  to  the 
sick'  room  fruit,  flowers,  or  some  other  delicacy. 

I  wondered  what  I  could  do  about  it,  until  it  oc- 
curred to  me  to  go  that  day,  as  on  the  Sabbath  we 
never  made  purchases  and  I  would  have  a  very 
good  excuse  for  not  bringing  anything. 

It  was  a  long  distance  and  I  was  very  tired  for 
I  had  walked  twice  to  the  church,  which  was  a  dis- 


124  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

tance  of  three  miles  each  way.  We  never  thought 
of  riding  on  the  cars  on  Sunday;  and  even  had  I 
wished  to  do  so  it  would  have  not  been  possible,  for 
I  could  not  have  afforded  the  carfare. 

As  I  slowly  walked  along  the  streets  my  atten- 
tion was  attracted  to  a  fruit  stand  on  which  were 
displayed  some  beautiful  oranges.  They  were  then 
very  expensive  on  account  of  their  scarcity  at  that 
time  of  the  year,  but  as  I  looked  at  them,  great  was 
my  desire  to  purchase  some  for  the  poor  sick 
woman.  Almost  before  I  knew  what  I  was  doing 
I  held  two  oranges  in  my  hands  and  all  my  money 
was  gone. 

The  thought  flashed  into  my  mind,  "You  have 
broken  the  Sabbath  by  buying  the  fruit."  Then 
came  another  thought,  "What  will  become  of  me? 
I  shall  have  nothing  to  eat  to-morrow,  for  I  have 
spent  my  last  cent."  For  a  few  moments  I  was 
tempted  to  return  the  fruit;  but  soon  the  tempta- 
tion passed  and  I  proceeded  on  my  way. 

When  I  entered  the  sick  room  and  saw  the  old 
lady  lying  there,  her  body  racked  with  pain,  I  for- 
got my  weariness  and  was  glad  that  I  had  come  to 
speak  a  few  words  of  comfort  and  cheer.  I  laid  the 
oranges  on  the  bed.  She  at  once  reached  for  the 
bag;  and  when  she  saw  the  contents,  how  her  face 
lighted  up  with  pleasure!     She  was  so  eager  for 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  125 

them  that  she  took  one  out  of  the  bag  and  began 
to  eat  it  without  stopping  to  peel  it. 

Then  she  burst  into  tears,  took  my  hands  in  hers, 
and  with  uplifted  eyes  prayed,  "I  thank  Thee,  my 
heavenly  Father,  that  Thou  hast  answered  my 
prayer."  For  one  week  she  had  been  praying  that 
the  Lord  would  sent  her  some  oranges,  for  she  was 
too  poor  to  buy  them  and  her  daughter  also  had  no 
money  to  spend  on  luxuries.  She  had  at  last  given 
up  hope,  for  she  expected  no  visitors  on  Sunday. 

As  I  listened  to  her  story,  my  heart  was  full  of 
thanksgiving  to  my  Father  for  permitting  me  to 
minister  to  one  of  His  saints.  I  remembered  the 
words  of  Jesus,  "It  is  more  blessed  to  give  than  to 
receive"  (Acts,  xx:35),  and  realized  their  truth, 
although  I  went  without  my  breakfast  the  next 
morning. 

But  God  rewarded  my  confidence  in  Him,  for  on 
that  same  morning,  a  letter  came  to  me  asking  me 
to  accept  a  position  as  book-keeper  at  a  very  good 
salary.  Never  from  that  time  have  I  been  obliged 
to  go  without  food  for  lack  of  means. 

For  a  year  I  remained  in  Berlin.  Then  came  the 
sad  news  of  my  father's  death.  I  decided  to  go 
home,  knowing  that  since  I  had  become  of  age  no 
one  could  interfere  with  me.  I  started  at  once  and 
arrived  the  day  before  my  father's  funeral. 


126  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

The  watchers  by  the  dead  at  first  refused  to  allow 
me  to  enter  the  room ;  but  late  that  night  after  my 
mother,  brothers  and  sister  had  retired  I  stole 
quietly  into  the  room  where  the  silent  form  of  my 
father  lay,  and  I  was  alone  with  the  dead  all 
through  the  long  night. 

I  thought  of  the  past,  how  those  closed  eyes  had 
once  looked  into  mine  with  a  father's  tender  love, 
those  cold  hands  had  been  laid  in  blessing  upon  my 
head.  I  recalled  how  the  love  of  a  father  had  been 
changed  into  hatred  and  his  blessing  into  a  bitter 
curse,  because  of  my  having  given  up  the  faith  of 
my  fathers  to  become  a  follower  of  the  despised 
King  of  the  Jews. 

On  the  following  day  the  funeral  took  place.  My 
mother,  brothers  and  sister,  according  to  Jewish 
custom,  rent  their  clothes,  while  I  stood  alone  with 
tearless  eyes,  having  no  part  in  the  services.  One  of 
the  devout  Jews,  upon  seeing  me  standing  near  the 
door,  rushed  up,  took  me  by  the  arm,  and  pulled  me 
towards  the  coffin,  screaming  in  my  ear,  "Look, 
you  turncoat,  upon  that  silent  face  and  remember 
that  this  is  your  work.  You  have  killed  your  father, 
have  brought  down  his  gray  hairs  to  the  grave  V 

The  coffin  was  covered,  the  pall  bearers  carried 
it  out  and  bore  him  to  the  grave,  and  I  followed 
last  of  all. 


'  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  127 

That  afternoon  immediately  after  the  burial  I 
took  the  train  for  the  next  station,  where  I  was  met 
by  friends  whom  I  had  notified  of  my  coming. 

How  lonely  seemed  the  days  that  followed !  Dur- 
ing the  two  days  that  I  remained  with  my  friends, 
the  old  conflict  was  renewed,  and  Satan  whispered 
that  it  was  better  to  return  to  the  old  life,  that  the 
price  I  was  paying  was  too  high,  but  oh,  what  vic- 
tory God  did  give  in  this  hour  of  temptation,  for  as 
Paul  declared,  "Nay,  in  all  these  things  we  are  more 
than  conquerors  through  Him  that  loved  us." 
(Romans,  viii:37.) 

The  third  day  I  returned  to  Berlin.  Meanwhile 
I  had  contracted  a  severe  cold  and  for  some  time 
was  very  ill.  In  fact  I  have  never  fully  recovered 
from  the  effects  of  that  prolonged  illness. 

As  soon  as  I  was  able  I  resumed  my  work  at  the 
oflSce,  all  my  spare  time  being  devoted  to  the  Lord's 
work.  Again  my  heart  was  turned  toward  the  for- 
eign field,  and  towards  Burmah  in  particular.  With 
that  end  in  view  I  worked  and  prayed,  asking  God 
to  send  me  there.  I  spoke  of  my  desires  to  my  pas- 
tor and  friends,  and  again  they  told  me  that  I  was 
not  fitted  for  that  work  and  advised  me  to  stay  in 
my  own  country  doing  Avhat  my  hands  found  there 
to  do. 

At  first  I  was  discouraged,  and  reluctantly  gave 


128  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

up  the  thought  of  leaving  my  native  land ;  but  there 
were  many  opportunities  of  speaking  for  Jesus 
among  the  thousands  of  unsaved  souls  in  that  city, 
and  God  abundantly  blessed  my  efforts  and  gave  me 
souls  for  my  hire. 

Thus  engaged,  my  life  was  very  happy,  and  sev- 
eral busy  years  passed  by.  Nothing  disturbed  my 
communion  with  God  and  my  daily  work,  and  all 
was  peaceful.  I  thought  all  my  troubles  were 
ended,  and  I  was  contented  to  settle  down  to  work 
in  my  church  district  in  Berlin,  unmindful  of  the 
needs  of  my  brethren,  the  Jews.  But  God  had  other 
plans  for  my  life,  which  I  was  to  see  later. 

My  mother  has  a  brother  in  England,  who  has 
considerable  wealth.  When  he  learned  that  the 
children  of  his  only  sister  had  left  the  Jewish  re- 
ligion and  had  become  Christians,  he  believed  it  was 
only  a  question  of  money,  and  that  he  could  win  us 
back  to  Judaism  by  paying  us  a  large  sum  of  money. 
As  he  was  visiting  relatives  in  Berlin,  he  sought  us 
out.  We  had  never  seen  these  relatives  and  they 
were  unaware  of  my  residence  in  the  city,  but  my 
uncle  had  learned  my  address  and  had  many  in- 
terviews with  me,  always  urging  me  to  give  up  my 
faith  and  offering  me  large  sums  of  money  if  I 
would  do  so. 

This  caused  me  trouble;  although,  since  I  was 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  129 

now  of  legal  age,  I  could  claim  the  protection  of 
the  law.  Yet  I  was  continually  harassed  by  his 
persuasions.  One  night  while  kneeling  in  prayer 
asking  God  to  keep  me  from  harm,  the  question 
came  to  me,  "Why  not  go  to  America?"  I  had  never 
thought  of  going  to  America  until  that  moment ;  but 
all  that  night  I  could  think  of  nothing  else,  and  be- 
fore the  week  was  over,  I  had  settled  the  matter  in 
my  own  mind.  I  knew  that  I  was  to  leave  Germany, 
but  did  not  speak  of  my  purpose  to  any  of  my 
friends  lest  they  should  oppose  the  undertaking. 

A  niece  of  Mrs.  Deike's  whom  I  had  known,  had 
gone  to  America  some  years  previous  to  this  time, 
and  was  now  living  in  Oak  Park,  near  Chicago. 
As  I  had  her  address  I  made  all  my  arrangements 
to  go  to  her.  At  the  end  of  a  fortnight  my  prepa- 
rations were  completed,  and  I  informed  my  friends 
of  the  plans.  They  were  much  astonished,  and 
most  strongly  opposed  me,  my  pastor  saying,  "You 
are  sinning  against  God,  for  Ho  has  given  you  work 
to  do  where  you  are,  and  He  can  protect  you  from 
your  enemies  just  as  well  in  Berlin  as  in  America." 

I  could  only  say  in  reply,  "I  know  He  can,  but  I 
am  not  sure  that  He  will,  for  I  believe  that  He  is 
calling  me  to  America." 

Not  one  favored  my  going,  but  it  was  too  late  to 
turn  back,  for  my  trunks  were  packed  and  my  ticket 


180  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME, 

bought.  I  did  not  realize  how  great  an  undertaking 
it  was  for  a  girl  to  go  alone  to  a  new  country,  know- 
ing nothing  about  the  trip,  and  with  no  friends 
there  to  care  for  her. 

But  trusting  only  in  my  loving  Heavenly  Father, 
in  the  latter  part  of  May,  1889, 1  left  for  America. 
It  was  very  hard  to  tear  myself  away  from  the  lov- 
ing friends.  The  loneliness  did  not  seem  so  great 
while  on  the  train,  but  out  on  the  great  ocean,  my 
heart  was  heavy  when  I  heard  other  passengers 
talking  about  friends  whom  they  expected  to  meet, 
and  the  joy  of  meeting  loved  ones. 

I  was  almost  overpowered  by  the  same  sense  of 
fear  and  desolation  which  came  over  me,  for  no 
one  would  be  there  to  meet  me,  and  I  was  going  to 
seek  a  mere  acquaintance  who  might  not  even  re- 
member me.  One  day,  while  feeling  the  loneliness 
of  it  all  as  never  before,  I  sat  on  deck  and  breathed 
out  this  prayer : 


Jesus,  Lover  of  my  soul, 

Let  me  to  Thy  bosom  fly, 
While  the  nearer  waters  roll. 

While  the  tempest  still  is  high  ; 
Hide  me,  O  my  Saviour,  hide. 

Till  the  storms  of  life  are  past ; 
Safe  into  the  haven  guide. 

Oh,  receive  my  soul  at  last. 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME,  131 

Other  refuge  have  I  noue, 

Hangs  my  helpless  soul  on  Thee  ; 
Leave,  oh,  leave  me  not  alone, 

Still  support  and  comfort  me  ; 
All  my  trust  on  Thee  is  stayed, 

All  my  help  from  Thee  I  bring ; 
Cover  my  defenceless  head 

With  the  shadow  of  Thy  wing. 

I  was  not  alone,  He  was  with  me  and  I  was  con- 
scious of  His  presence. 

We  were  twelve  days  on  the  ocean,  reaching  Bal- 
timore on  a  beautiful  Sunday  morning  in  June. 
We  landed,  and  I  stood  for  a  time  with  the  same  old 
feeling  of  loneliness  and  helplessness,  then  I  started 
down  a  street,  where  I  could  see  the  people  passing 
to  and  fro,  speaking  a  language  unfamiliar  to  my 
ears,  for  I  could  neither  speak  nor  understand  any 
English.  A  deep  realization  came  to  me  of  the 
meaning  of  the  words,  "A  stranger,  in  a  strange 
land,"  for  such  I  was,  and  the  cry  went  up  from  my 
heart,  "Why,  O  Lord,  had  I  come  to  a  strange 
land?  Why  could  I  not  have  found  rest  and  peftce 
in  my  own  land?" 

In  my  perplexity  I  heard  God's  loving  word,  "Be 
strong  and  of  good  courage;  be  not  afraid, 
neither  be  thou  dismayed ;  for  the  Lord  thy  God  is 
with  thee  whithersoever  thou  goest."  (Josh.  i:9.) 
The  message  brought  such  peace  and  rest  to  my  soul 
that  all  fear  departed,  and  that  afternoon  I  joy- 


132  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

fully  boarded  the  train  for  Oak  Park.  On  my  ar- 
rival I  was  gladly  received  by  Mrs.  Deike's  niece, 
who  recognized  me  at  once;  and  to  my  great  joy  I 
learned  that  the  friends  who  had  first  given  me 
shelter,  when  I  left  my  home  years  before,  were  now 
living  in  Chicago.  With  gratitude  and  joy  we  re- 
counted God's  gracious  dealings  with  us  through 
all  those  years. 

I  was  delighted  with  my  new  surroundings.  God 
gave  me  many  kind  friends  and  I  entered  heartily 
into  the  new  life.  My  old  desire  for  mission  work 
was  revived,  and  again  I  prayed  that  I  might  go  to 
Burmah,  and  when  I  spoke  to  the  German  pastor 
about  it  he  greatly  encouraged  me  in  my  hopes. 
But  this  was  not  the  Lord's  will.  "His  thoughts  are 
not  our  thoughts,  neither  are  His  ways  our  ways." 
(Isaiah  lv:8.) 

I  had  been  in  Oak  Park  about  three  weeks  when 
I  was  invited  to  attend  a  meeting  in  the  interest 
of  Jewish  mission  work,  at  the  home  of  Mrs.  T.  C. 
Rounds.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Angel  from  the  Chicago 
Hebrew  Mission  were  present.  I  spoke  in  German, 
and  Mr.  Angel  translated  my  words  into  English. 
He  told  me  that  the  friends  of  Israel  had  been  pray- 
ing that  God  would  convert  a  Jewess,  who  would 
go  among  the  women  and  children  of  her  own  people 
and  tell  them  of  the  love  of  Jesus.    "Now,"  he  said, 


DRIVEN  FROM  HOME.  133 

"God  has  answered  our  prayer,  by  sending  us  a 
Christian  Jewess,  though  not  one  converted  through 
our  instrumentality.  Will  you  come  and  work  with 
us  for  the  salvation  of  the  Jews?" 

I  replied,  "No,  I  will  not.  I  am  going  to  tell  the 
poor  heathen  in  Burmah  of  the  love  of  Jesus." 

He  looked  at  me  with  sadness,  and  said,  "You 
want  to  go  to  a  strange  land  and  a  strange  people, 
and  let  your  own  people  perish?" 

"Yes,"  I  said,  "Let  them  die.  They  don't  deserve 
anything  else." 

Before  leaving  the  house  he  invited  me  to  the 
Mission,  and  I  promised  to  attend.  About  a  week 
later,  I  visited  South  Halsted  street  one  Saturday 
afternoon;  and  as  I  walked  through  that  locality 
and  saw  men,  women  and  children  hurrying  along, 
it  seemed  that  every  face  spoke  a  reproach  to  me. 
My  conscience  reproved  me,  and  I  knew  that  it  was 
my  duty  to  go  with  the  Gospel  of  Jesus  Christ  to 
my  own  people,  the  people  of  God's  own  choosing. 

I  then  and  there  promised  the  Lord  to  work 
among  the  Jews,  if  He  would  open  the  way.  In  His 
own  way.  He  at  last  led  me  to  take  up  my  life  work 
in  His  Vineyard. 

In  1890  I  entered  the  Baptist  Missionary  Train- 
ing School  in  Chicago,  and  in  June,  1892,  was  grad- 
uated from  that  institution.     In  October  of  the 


134  DRIVEN  FROM  HOME. 

same  year  I  began  work  among  the  Hebrews 
in  New  York,  under  the  auspices  of  the  Women's 
Home  Missionary  Society,  where  I  remained 
for  several  years.  God  wonderfully  blessed 
His  own  work,  undertaken  in  His  name.  Many 
thousands  heard  the  Gospel  of  Jesus  Christ,  and 
some  precious  souls  were  saved.  I  have  the  assur- 
ance of  my  God  that  I  am  in  His  will,  and  gladly 
go  forward  in  my  work,  "Looking  unto  Jesus,  the 
author  and  finisher  of  our  faith;  who  for  the  joy 
that  was  set  before  Him  endured  the  cross,  despis- 
ing the  shame,  and  is  set  down  at  the  right  hand  of 
God."  (Heb.  xii:2.) 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFOENIA  LIBRARY 
BERKELEY 


THIS  BOOK  IS  DUE  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 

STAMPED  BELOW 

Books  not  returned  on  time  are  subject  to  a  fine  of 
50c  r>er  volume  after  the  third  day  overdue,  increasing 
to  $1.00  per  volume  after  the  sixth  dav.  Books  not  in 
demand  may  be  renewed  if  application  is  made  before 
expiration  of  loan  period. 


jut  26  \9W 


507n-7,'16 


r^ 


O 


/ 


